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New today:
Dispatches From
the Napoleonic Wars
at the Met
.

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We're giving away books this holiday season. Click here to learn more about our very special holiday deal.

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Avoid traffic and human interaction—for the rest of the day, simply click here and find a festive 25 percent off all our backlist books.

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San Franciscans: On Wednesday, December 3, at 7:30 p.m., 826 Valencia will host a Voice of Witness discussion on Sudan, featuring editor Craig Walzer and narrators from the new VOW book, Out of Exile. RSVP to press@mcsweeneys.net. Space is extremely limited.

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For information about the David Foster Wallace Memorial Fund, please click here.

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The 826 writing centers are looking for interns. For details, click here.

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A CLASSIFIED AD
FROM A DYNAMIC
STUDENT LOOKING
TO HARNESS SYNERGY
AND INNOVATE 24/7.

BY ZACH LENANE

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I'm a dynamic student looking to express my creativity and individual uniqueness through a remedial summertime position at your company / Internet pyramid scheme. I'm committed to raising the bar and achieving absolute excellence and innovation by utilizing unique, out-of-the-box thinking and harnessing my own dynamic synergy. Moreover, by channeling my productive energies and maintaining unflagging dedication and diligence 24/7, I come second to none in providing visionary business solutions for our modern world. We all know a penny saved is a penny earned, but what's an opportunity lost? If you help me help you by allowing me to join you and your positive-thinking, inventive, and kinetic work force, you'll never have to find out—instead, you'll win the professionally strategized solutions I provide within a harmoniously prioritized environmental framework!

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OTHER McSWEENEY'S FEATURES:

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A Classified Ad From a Dynamic Student Looking to Harness Synergy and Innovate 24/7 By Zach Lenane
Butterball Help-Line Help-Line By Alysia Gray Painter
A Free Copy of My Religion Pamphlet By William Tracy
Gossip Gorilla By Tom Gliatto
BJÖRK: The Great Underground Musician Adventure By Sung J. Woo

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DISPATCHES FROM MANILA

DISPATCHES FROM MOSCOW

SO YOU WANT TO BE PRESIDENT?

DISPATCHES FROM THE ANACOSTIA

THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL

BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELEBRITY MUSICALS

DISPATCHES FROM A HUMANITARIAN JOURNALIST

SEAN MICHAELS LISTENS TO MUSIC IN MONTREAL

DEB OLIN UNFERTH'S SICK OF THE REVOLUTION

DISPATCHES FROM IRAQ

SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES

PHILIP GRAHAM SPENDS A YEAR IN LISBON

STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE

DISPATCHES FROM THE NAPOLEONIC WARS AT THE MET

KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE

SONGS OF ENEMIES AND DESERTS: LIVING WITH THE SUDAN LIBERATION ARMY

LAWRENCE WESCHLER'S EVERYTHING THAT RISES: A BOOK OF CONVERGENCES

THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST

ABOUT WHAT IS THE WHAT

ABOUT BOWL OF CHERRIES

ABOUT COMEDY BY THE NUMBERS</