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Now available for preorder:
The San Francisco Panorama.
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McSWEENEY'S No. 2: The windshield wipers were not working. It was raining, and because nearly all of the roads in Iceland are of the two-lane variety, each passing truck would dump a many-gallon hello of water and mud on the McSweeney's representative's tiny little rental, making it almost impossible for him, excellent driver though he is, not to veer off the road, down the berm, onto the dried lava field -- the kind through which most of the country's roads are cut -- and plunge to a fiery death. But no. That would not do. A fiery death would not do, because, see, the McSweeney's representative was on his way to look at bluelines at the Oddi Printing Company, McSweeney's printer of record, which has been charged with converting the ethereal digital 0's and 1's of the McSweeney's Quark files to glorious and glowing 3-dimensional life. So. Because he was on such a mission, a mission much bigger than himself, the McSweeney's representative stayed the course, made it to the Oddi Printing Company, waited in the lobby while reading Iceland's version of People, which is really wonderful, even if written in Icelandic -- gaudy, bawdy, lots of smiling people, mostly blonde -- and then met with Bjorn Vidisson, the McSweeney's project manager, who smelled great, he really did, we know that's a strange thing to mention but it was so noticeable, it was his shampoo, probably, like spring and flowers and running water, not that we customarily go around smelling our Icelandic project managers -- or anyone, for that matter, even Americans. The point is that Mr. Vidisson showed the McSweeney's representative first bluelines and later the journal on press (by the way: all the Oddi pressmen wear matching jumpsuits, bright-blue jumpsuits, giving them an unsettlingly Oompa-Men kind of look) and as usual Oddi did a magnificent job. Printing was finished on Wednesday. It was packed into boxes on Thursday and that same day trucked to the docks at Reykjavik and placed on a ship, which left last Friday. So. McSweeney's No. 2 is right now on a slow boat (a very slow boat, if we may say so) from Reykjavik to New York, and will arrive around February 20. Oh and: The Icelandic people are fond of saying that, despite their country's name, that theirs is a mild and temperate climate, that their winters are nothing compared to those of, say, Chicago, blah blah. . . Well, bullshit. Last week it was freezing. And wet, and cold, and wet. Pretty, though. Raw and jagged, vast and stark. Geysers, volcanoes, waterfalls, fjords, glaciers. But cold. Nice in summer, though, we hear. About McSweeney's No. 2: It is a very good issue. It features: Arthur Bradford, David Shields, Neal Pollack, Sarah Vowell, Jon Langford, Heidi Julavits, Todd Pruzan, Zev Borow, Jonathan Lethem, Amanda Davis, John Hodgman, Sean Wilsey, Amy Krouse Rosenthal -- oh and all kinds of people you haven't heard of but whom you will dearly love. Its subject matters include: pirates, Indians, fire, math, talking snakes, Texas, plagues, the Supreme Court, Dan Burton, Lester Bangs, women who float in the sky like balloons, chainsaws, and an epic love affair between a man and a lemon. Expect it to have: 192 pages, whereas the first issue had 144. Note that it includes: 87,182 words, whereas the first issue had far fewer (though we didn't count them and will not now). So. IF YOU ARE A SUBSCRIBER: expect it late in the month. IF YOU ARE A NEW SUBSCRIBER: and did not indicate otherwise, you have already been sent No. 1, and will be sent No. 2 soon. Cancel your weekend plans. IF YOU PLAN TO BECOME A NEW SUBSCRIBER: you are asked, from now on, to indicate in your order whether or not you want the premier issue included. (There are exactly 46 copies of No. 1 still available, so those wanting one should act soon). Also, those wanting a copy of No. 2 in a prompt sort of way should subscribe soon. There will be a massive mail drop February 23rd, and subscriptions received after that point will take longer to fulfill, because the McSweeney's representative has a life outside this, he has things to do, people to know, love to give -- and please, please don't ever forget it. IF YOU ARE A BOOKSTORE: McSweeney's is available through Small Changes, Last Gasp, Desert Moon, Armadillo, Daybreak and Doormouse distributors. If your bookstore is not covered by any of their territories, email us and we can work out a direct distribution deal, the sort we have with a dozen or so other lucky bookstores. IF YOU ARE A GOOD CITIZEN: You will call your local bookstore and demand a copy of McSweeney's. If they do not already carry it, your call might prompt them to order it, which is helpful to us, your friends who care about you and have been there for you so many times before. SOME CAVEATS REGARDING McSWEENEY'S No. 2: Final proofing on McSweeney's No. 2 was done on the five-hour flight to Reykjavik. Inputting of corrections was done from 9 am to 2 pm, Icelandic time, by the McSweeney's representative, who had not slept in 74 hours, while five Icelandic prepress people waited, not always patiently, on the Sunday morning that the McSweeney's representative arrived with what was supposed to have been a ready-to-go disc. And their version of Quark did not have spellcheck, at least not a spellcheck with any semblance of a complete English dictionary. Thus: We expect that there will be some, perhaps 6-7, imperfections in the final product. No large ones, really, no meaningful ones -- probably, like we said, probably 6-7 overall. We do not want to hear about them. Do not call or write or email. Tolerate them as we tolerate your own many faults and failings. Thank you.
OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES:
The Service Industry (In no particular order): The Service Industry, Part Two The Chronicles of Man: The Magazine for Men. Episode VI: The Mystery in the Mailroom. The Service Industry, Part Two The Chronicles of Man: The Magazine for Men. Episode VIII: The Discovery of a New World. The Service Industry, Part One The Story of Fanfare: The In-FlightMagazine of the Gulfstream Jet Set. Episode IV: Office Politics. - - - - Randy Cohen Week My Airspace Randy Cohen Week Man Sharing Randy Cohen Week Backyards Randy Cohen Week Diary of a Flying man
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