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Now available for preorder:
The San Francisco Panorama
.

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M c S W E E N E Y ' S   # 3
I S   A L M O S T   F I N I S H E D .
Y O U   H A V E   O N E   W E E K   T O   S U B M I T
S U B S C R I P T I O N   C H E C K S .


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On August 2, the McSweeney's Representative makes for Reykjavik, to get the third issue of the print version printed.

This means that if you have any intention or hope of receiving this issue any time in, say, August, you need to send in those subscription checks now. ($28, to McSweeney's, 394A Ninth Street, Brooklyn, NY 11215. Canadians pay $34.) All new subscriptions received by the end of this week will be entered into the database before press, and those subscribers will be sent their copies straight from Boston, when the ship hits shore.

Subscriptions received thereafter will be subject to our sometimes-slow fulfillment process. [A process which, by the way, will be overhauled next week. McSweeney's has secured help for this task -- all those who have waited patiently will be soon rewarded meagerly.]

Also, the subscription price will soon rise, as production costs are rising. Why are production costs rising? Here is why:

  • While the first issue was about 140 pages, and the second issue was 192, the third issue is 288.

  • While the first two issues were completely black and white, the third issue contains three full-color gatefolds, printed on coated stock. This will be very nice, while not actually fouling the purity of the black-and-white body of the journal. You will see. It is nice.

  • While the first two issues did not contain a page of vellum, the third issue will. Everyone likes vellum, but vellum does not come cheap.

There are other features of Issue No. 3 which should entice you to send money right now. Here are some:

  • It will contain new work by pretty much everyone who has heretofore been associated with McSweeney's. Their work in this issue of McSweeney's obliterates everything they have done previously. "I renounce all the work I've done before." -- A prominent writer

  • At least one of the contributors to this issue is deceased.

  • One contributor designs furniture.

  • The cover contains at least 2,000 words, much of it printed in 4-pt type.

  • There is one story that urges the reader to use a pair of scissors to better enjoy it.

  • There is one story that contains a sex scene between the son of Santa, and an elf.

  • One story takes place in France.

  • One story is all about moonshine.

We cannot reveal much else about this issue, but please know that it is very good. We like it very much. It is 100 pages longer than the last issue. It will crush the last issue like the bug-like issue that Issue No. 2, in hindsight, was.

But please send those checks in. They will help you, and will aid in our paying our print bill, which right now appears very daunting.

Come to think of it, this might be a good time to mention that if there are any of you very generous sorts out there, the Lifetime Subscription offer still stands, and stands strong. Send $100 or more, and you will receive McSweeney's as long as you and we are alive, along with:

  1. The McSweeney's Representative's home number

  2. All available McSweeney's paraphrenalia, including a T-shirt, and one copy each of the three McSweeney's side-project mini-books in the works (the first, a collaboration with Komar & Melamid, will be published within the next three months)

  3. A tour of the McSweeney's headquarters

  4. One souvenir from Iceland, of your choosing -- keychain, sweater, collector plate, chapbook, blue jumpsuit, lava, etc.

Do note that if any of you would like to donate or raise more than $500, you will become part of an elite circle called the McSweeney's Pioneers. Information about privileges due to Pioneers is, of course, privileged. Only those who dare enter the circle will know its bounty.

But that bounty is bountiful.

That is all.

Help us. We want to live!

 

 

OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES:
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Godzilla in Delaware, Era of the Revolution By Andy Battaglia
Wanted: Honest Americans To Help In Aiding, Preserving, And Ensuring The Long-Term Survival Of: The Museum Of Jurassic Technology, Los Angeles, Calif.
Plath or Gabrielle? By Kevin Shay
It Is Easy To Take A Lover In Cuba By Neal Pollack
I Have Been Waiting. By Lucy Thomas

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Memories of Amanda Davis




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LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S

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McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS

REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD

NEW WHOLPHIN FILM

DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST

TEDDY WAYNE'S UNPOPULAR PROVERBS

NON-ESSENTIAL MNEMONICS

BITCHSLAP: A COLUMN ABOUT WOMEN AND FIGHTING

DISPATCHES FROM A GUY TRYING UNSUCCESSFULLY
TO SELL A SONG IN NASHVILLE


GLOBAL WAR ON BEDBUGS: LETTERS FROM BEDBUG CITY

THE CONFLICTED EXISTENCE OF A FEMALE PORN WRITER

OH MY GAWD: A COLUMN ABOUT A TEENAGER NAVIGATING RELIGION

DISPATCHES FROM MANILA

DISPATCHES FROM AN INDIAN CASINO

THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST

CHRIS WHITE ANSWERS PROFOUND
QUESTIONS ABOUT THE PRESIDENTS


REPORTS FROM THE PINBALL SCENE

LETTERS FROM THE HELLBOX

NOTES FROM AN AMATEUR SPECTATOR
AT AMATEUR MIXED MARTIAL ARTS FIGHTS


B.R. COHEN'S DAYS AT THE MUSEUM

CONVERSATIONS AT A WARTIME CAFÉ

AND HERE'S THE KICKER:
MIKE SACKS'S CONVERSATIONS WITH HUMOR WRITERS


GRANT MUNROE'S CORPORATE FOLKTALES

SARAH WALKER SHOWS YOU HOW

DISPATCHES FROM AN ENVIRONMENTAL LAWYER
WHO IS TRYING TO GROW A MUSTACHE


DISPATCHES FROM A HANGDOG BANKRUPT

DISPATCHES FROM THE CAPITAL

DISPATCHES FROM INDIA

THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL

SEAN MICHAELS LISTENS TO MUSIC IN MONTREAL

SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES

KIDS' LETTERS TO PRESIDENT OBAMA

STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE

YOUR MONEY, YOUR JOB ... YOUR LIFE, WITH ALISON ROSEN

KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE

ABOUT THE WILD THINGS

ABOUT THE CONVALESCENT

ABOUT FEVER CHART

ABOUT GOD SAYS NO

ABOUT ZEITOUN

LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL
TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY


E-MAILS SENT TO THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA ENGLISH DEPARTMENT
FLAG-FOOTBALL TEAM


TRAVELING EUROPE IN STYLE WITH AUCKLAND DINGIROO,
DARK-AGE TOURIST AND CRITIC OF FOOD AND DRINK


JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES

INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS

FLIP: A COLUMN ABOUT SKATEBOARDING

OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND

DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN

MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY

DAN KENNEDY SOLVES YOUR PROBLEMS WITH PAPER

STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT

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