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Now available for preorder:
The San Francisco Panorama.
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P O L I C E R E P O R T ,
The recent heat and power outages have contributed to the ugly wave of crime and terror already suffocating the area.
PEPIN COUNTY BOAT taken from Gino's Choice Marine, 2642 U.S. 53, Chippewa Falls, sometime over the weekend. No value estimate. Reported 5:42 p.m. Monday. CAR, 1985 Chevrolet Cavalier Limousine (modified by owner) owned by Wape Warsucker, 1015 Highway G, Boyd, taken from Ice Barn Tavern, 5910 Highway Q, Boyd. No value estimate. Reported 2:08 a.m. Saturday. JEWISH SPECIALTY WINES, cups, lottery tickets, taken from Butch's Liquors at 227 Brick Chimney Way, Pepin sometime on May 31. Owned by Ray Selk, Jr., 5923 Lane, Eau Claire. No value estimate. Reported 6:36 p.m. Saturday by Ray Selk, Sr.
CITY OF DURAND Thefts MUMIA PHONE CARDS, editorial corrections, stencils, other items, taken from a pickup truck owned by Kent R. Kadishik, West Londell Flats, while parked at 1180 Schnauzer Falls Road. Value $1530. Reported 8:32 a.m. Friday. TROLLING MOTOR, other items, taken from a boat owned by Claudette Towers, 18 Governor's Acres Trailer Park, while parked at her home. Value $580. Reported 10:41 a.m. Monday. METRIC WRENCHES, other specialty tools, rabies medication, total value $550, stolen between Friday and Tuesday from a company van at Idso's-Kew, 1712 N. Vermont Ave. Reported Tuesday. MULE, chewing gum, compact discs $5,000 value, owned by Blan Cancert, 232 Broadway St., No. 933, stolen overnight Monday from the parking lot at his residence. Reported 9:45 a.m. Tuesday. Burglary BANK DEPOSITS, yellow pages, crock pot appliance, taken from The Irish Kitchen, 294 Snare Gulch Lane, entered overnight Friday. Reported 10:38 p.m. Saturday.
EAU CLAIRE COUNTY 18-VOLT POWER SAW kit and a 14.4-volt power drill kit, total value $540, stolen during business hours Tuesday from Sir Norbert's Pantry, 2501 E. Clairemont Ave., town of Washington. Reported 4:36 p.m. Tuesday. BURN VICTIM, Vosel Fostum, 9881 Mountain Coffin Rd., Sparta. Fostum handled Toaster Pastries too soon following launch from toaster appliance. Treated with aloe vera plant by spouse. Precautionary call made to paramedics. 1:45 a.m. Monday.
OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES:
The 1999 Zagat Survey of My Friends By Eric McHenry Maxwell's Lyrics, Or Maxwell's Equations? By Michael Genrich Greek Lineup By Mike Topp Sixteen Punchlines for Hot Days By Jason Ross Altamont Is Over: A Reminiscence By Todd Pruzan |
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