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Just in time for Valentine's Day,
the Guardian in London has
reviewed and raved about
The Secret Language of Sleep.
And, for the rest of the week,
you can buy it for $5!
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F I G H T S I ' V E R E C E N T L Y S E E N BY JOHN WARNER Boyfriend: Mid 20's tanned, wraparound sunglasses perched on top of head. Girlfriend: Mid 20's blond, tanned, wearing cutoff jean shorts and a
Sammy Sosa jersey. Passerby: Someone like me, but not me, I was just watching. This person spoke. Me: Me. Dusk, a tree and car lined city street. A sprinkler chicka chicka's away on a nearby lawn watering as much sidewalk as grass. There are a handful of pedestrians walking by as BOYFRIEND, in the driver's seat of a black, somewhat sporty car attempts to maneuver into a parallel parked position. The car jerks and lurches as he moves back and forth. The engine growls underneath his heavy foot. GIRLFRIEND is outside of the car, shouting instructions. The car windows are up. Music, deep and bassy, thunders from the stereo, audible even outside the car. (shrieking) (Gesturing and shouting, unintelligible) (Unintelligible, shouting and gesturing) BOYFRIEND bumps into the car in the space behind him, a taillight falls off his somewhat sporty black car. GIRLFRIEND picks up taillight and knocks it against the still closed car window. (Gesturing and shouting, unintelligible) (Shouting) (To PASSERBY) (Unintelligible, waving, shaking fist) (To ME) (The next in this series will appear at a later date. Do not try to guess when because we will not tell you.)
OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES:
History's Great Persons Reconsidered: Four New Ones By Tim Carvell I Am a Concerned Chilled Orange-Juice Customer By Tim Rogers In the Kingdom of the Unabomber, Part XIV: Pimping for Kaczynski By Gary Greenberg In the Kingdom of the Unabomber, Part VI: "He Probably Never Felt a Thing" By Gary Greenberg In the Kingdom of the Unabomber, Part III: The Mark of Zorro By Gary Greenberg |
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