T H E N E W E S T
F R O M J O K E L A N D .
BY BRODIE H. BROCKIE & R.J. WHITE
- - - -
BAR JOKE #1
A man walks into a bar. He has a few drinks and chats with the
bartender.
Later that night, he goes home alone and reflects on the poor decisions
he's
made in life.
RELIGIOUS JOKE #5
A Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi are walking down the street. They
discuss,
together, the various traditions and beliefs of their different
religions.
Each leaves with a greater respect for the other and a deeper
understanding
of the world.
DOCTOR JOKE #5
A man goes to his doctor. The doctor tells him he's dying.
The man says, "I want a second opinion."
The doctor gives him the name and number of a specialist in the type of
cancer with which the man has been diagnosed.
POLISH JOKE #21
A gentleman is of polish descent. His heritage in not discernable to his
neighbors and co-workers, save for the letters "ski" at the end of his
surname.
GENIE JOKE #3
A man and a woman are crossing the desert. They find a lamp in the sand.
The
man rubs the lamp and nothing happens. Afterward, he feels a bit
foolish.
CHICKEN JOKE #63
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the chicken lacks any reasoning or decision-making
capabilities,
it seems unlikely the chicken's action was spurred by
any
particular motivation.
DEATH JOKE #5
A man died. What transpired after he passed the veil of death is beyond
the
knowledge of the living.
KNOCK-KNOCK JOKE #8
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
John.
John who?
John Wilson, your old friend from college.
What a pleasant surprise. Please, come in.
BAR JOKE #17
A man walks into a bar with a dog. He orders a drink.
The bartender says, "Hey, we don't let dogs in here!"
The man says, "But I'm blind, and this is my seeing eye dog. According
to
the Americans With Disabilities Act, you have to allow him into your
establishment."
The bartender gives him his drink, which he consumes.
POLISH JOKE #9
How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to hold the ladder, and the other to turn the light bulb in a
clockwise fashion until it is secured in the socket.
WIFE JOKE #2
Take my wife, please, as I can no longer afford to pay for a nurse to
come
and care for her on a daily basis.
LAWYER JOKE #7
What do you call a room full of lawyers?
A group of highly educated legal professionals.
BLONDE JOKE #116
How do you brainwash a blonde?
A rigorous schedule of psychologically breaking down their confidence
and
resistance to outside suggestion.
FARMER'S DAUGHTER JOKE #13
A man is driving down a country road at night when his car gets a flat
tire.
He stops by a local farmhouse and asks the owner if he can stay there
for
the night.
"Sure," says the farmer. "As long as you don't touch my three beautiful
daughters."
The man did as he was told, because frankly, he didn't find the girls
nearly
so attractive as their father seemed to.
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