O magazine says about Michael Chabon's Maps and Legends: "Vital energy and a boundless appetite for risk give these essays their electric charge." Get the book for $5 off its cover price in our online store. - - - -

I   H A V E   A L W A Y S B E E N   G O O D   A T M U L T I P L E   C H O I C E . BY KEVIN GUILFOILE - - - - 1. Anna Nicole Smith is to Anna Deavere Smith as Dom DeLuise is to: A. Dom DiMaggio B. David DeLuise C. Danny DeVito D. Don DeLillo E. Paul Prudhomme 2. Find z= x/y, where x= the number of times you've heard Jonathan Winters described as a comic genius, and y= the number of times Jonathan Winters has made you laugh. A. z>100 B. z>10 C. z>1 D. z<1 E. z= Ø 3. Which is correct? A. Beatles/Kinks/Stones/Who B. Kinks/Beatles/Stones/Who C. Stones/Kinks/Beatles/Who D. Kinks/Stones/Beatles/Who E. Beatles/Stones/Kinks/Who 4. Which of the following protègés of Andy Warhol should be termed "significant," and which weren't, in fact, Andy Warhol protègés at all, but important figures in South Africa's struggle against Apartheid? A. Nico B. Biko C. Basquiat D. Tambo E. Tama F. Mba G. Viva H. Zoli I. Xuma 5. Match each of the following people with his profession: A. Bob Newhart B. Steve Allen C. Dick Smothers D. Tom Smothers E. Mark Russell 1. Humorist 2. Satirist 3. Entertainer 4. Comedian 5. Wit 6. Choose one: A. "Little Stephen" Dedalus B. Stephen "Special Delivery" Dedalus C. Stephen "Smack Down" Dedalus D. Stephen "Stepherino" Dedalus E. "STD"     OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES: - - - - Etiquette for Evil By Kevin Sampsell Notes on Revising Last Night's Dream By Ben Greenman Last Supper Assignments By Chadd S. Johnson Today's Most Funniest Movie Bloopers By Mike Sacks Reviews of Stories and Anecdotes Recently Related to Me By Christina Nunez

- - - - MAIN PAGE   |   ARCHIVES   Memories of Amanda Davis   Red dot denotes content that is new today. Black dot denotes newish content. McSWEENEY'S STORE SUBSCRIBE TO: McSWEENEY'S THE BELIEVER WHOLPHIN FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: FOR BOOKS FOR THE QUARTERLY FOR THE WEBSITE FOR WHOLPHIN McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS CONTACT US - - - - LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S LISTS McSWEENEY'S PREDICTS McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS NEW WHOLPHIN FILM DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST JOKES BY BRIAN BEATTY REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD DISPATCHES FROM MOSCOW SO YOU WANT TO BE PRESIDENT? DISPATCHES FROM THE ANACOSTIA THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELEBRITY MUSICALS DISPATCHES FROM A HUMANITARIAN JOURNALIST DISPATCHES FROM IRAQ SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES PHILIP GRAHAM SPENDS A YEAR IN LISBON STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE DISPATCHES FROM THE NAPOLEONIC WARS AT THE MET KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE SONGS OF ENEMIES AND DESERTS: LIVING WITH THE SUDAN LIBERATION ARMY LAWRENCE WESCHLER'S EVERYTHING THAT RISES: A BOOK OF CONVERGENCES THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST ABOUT WHAT IS THE WHAT ABOUT BOWL OF CHERRIES ABOUT COMEDY BY THE NUMBERS ABOUT JOHN BRANDON'S ARKANSAS LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY DISPATCHES FROM ADJUNCT FACULTY AT A LARGE STATE UNIVERSITY ADVICE FROM A PERSON WITH A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY DISPATCHES FROM THE NBA ENTERTAINMENT LEAGUE JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES B.R. COHEN'S ANNALS OF SCIENCE INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY DISPATCHES FROM ROY KESEY, AN AMERICAN GUY MARRIED TO A PERUVIAN DIPLOMAT LIVING IN CHINA STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT - - - - ADDITIONAL MATERIAL