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Thank you, it's a pleasure to be here. When people ask me what I am proudest of in my life, I think they expect to hear something about that job I held in Washington a few years ago! [chuckles] Thank you. I certainly enjoyed the challenges of being Clinton's press secretary, but these days I face a much more "pressing" task, and it has given me moments prouder than any I ever experienced at the White House. It is the challenge of being spokesperson for a public figure even greater than the president of the United States. In some ways, He's an easier boss: There are no interns to worry about, no haircut expenses to justify and no outspoken wife to mollify. No, there's no spin necessary on Jesus: so many have already elected him their savior, and I am going to keep delivering the Word until all Americans have cast a vote for the only leader they can really trust. Last year, I spoke with Mike McCurry as he was in the midst of the impeachment crisis. I called him up and said, "Mike, how are you doing?" And he said, "Dee Dee, sometimes I don't know how I can face them." I asked him if he had faced Jesus. I said, "Mike, as long as you have a personal relationship with God, no statement you make will be misleading." I urged him to consult the Bible instead of the agenda. In his characteristically guarded but lovable way, Mike said, "Dee Dee, I'm sorry, but I've got to go into this briefing. Can we talk about this later?" And he may not hear it from me, but you can bet that Mike--just like all of us--will certainly be "talking about this later," whether it is tomorrow or the next day or at the ultimate press conference, Judgment Day. If you think Sam Donaldson is a tough interrogator, you ain't seen nothin' yet! [laughter] For it is sometimes hard to imagine that there is a house larger and more powerful than the White House or any building humans could create. It is the house of the Lord, and there, the microphone at the podium is always on. Thank you.
OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES:
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