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Millard Kaufman's final novel has arrived!
Pick up Misadventure now—or, see what
you've missed out on thus far by picking up
both Bowl of Cherries and Misadventure
for 27% off the retail price.

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[We have gone list-less for long enough. With this, and the new link below, we have succumbed to the inevitable. You take your precious lists and have yourself a nice time.]

B A D   N A M E S
F O R   A C T I O N   M O V I E S .


BY PETER SCHOOFF

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A Fistfull Of Fern
Good Guys Wear Cranberry
Pop Goes The Evil
Soft Boiled
Run Away!

Fact Checker on Fact Checker Crime
Kelp
Exit The Dragon
The Programmerator
Rinse & Repeat

Walking Stout
Shelf Life
The Good, The Bad, and Their Attorneys
If I Was Twenty Years Younger
Head In The Sand

Take That!
Fists For Fun
Buy Hard
Some Like Spats
Crush, Kill, Decorate

Inaction Jackson
Frosty the Hit Man
Pardon Our Appearance While We Kill
Lawrence Of Accounting
The Guppy

The Number Crunchers
Lard Target
Defer To Superiors
Lie Down With Lemmings
I'm Saying It For The First Time

Feet of Fungus
Poke Hard
Kung-Food Fighting
Mission Possible
The Road Worrier

A Fistful Of Gumballs
Easy Does It
The Octogenarian
FIFO
The Pen IS Mightier Than The Sword

The Loan Ranger
Hell's Smells
Two Guys, a Girl, and One Stick of Gum
Less Is More
Black Belt Brown Shoes

Rock Paper Scissors
Let's Share
Dr. Floss
The Ungentleman
Haste!

The Red Badge Of Hilfiger
Never A Borrower Or Lender Be
Tough Cheese
Male Pattern Badass
A Wedgie Too Far

 

 

OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES:
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What Orrin Hatch Must Do To Win By Eric McHenry
Hypothetical Transcript of the Discussion Leading to the Decision to Euthanize Hsing-Hsing the Giant Panda By Kevin Shay
Fragments from Microsoft! The Musical By Ben Greenman
Unwritten By Christine Schomer
Two TV Weathermen, at a Post Office in Syracuse, New York, Pass the Time in Line, Speaking By Paul Maliszewski

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Memories of Amanda Davis

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GET TO KNOW AN INTERNET COMMENTER

GLOBAL WAR ON BEDBUGS: LETTERS FROM BEDBUG CITY

THE CONFLICTED EXISTENCE OF A FEMALE PORN WRITER

OH MY GAWD: A COLUMN ABOUT A TEENAGER NAVIGATING RELIGION

DISPATCHES FROM AN INDIAN CASINO

THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST

CHRIS WHITE ANSWERS PROFOUND
QUESTIONS ABOUT THE PRESIDENTS


REPORTS FROM THE PINBALL SCENE

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NOTES FROM AN AMATEUR SPECTATOR
AT AMATEUR MIXED MARTIAL ARTS FIGHTS


CONVERSATIONS AT A WARTIME CAFÉ

SARAH WALKER SHOWS YOU HOW

DISPATCHES FROM THE CAPITAL

SEAN MICHAELS LISTENS TO MUSIC IN MONTREAL

STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE

KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE

LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL
TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY


E-MAILS SENT TO THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA ENGLISH DEPARTMENT
FLAG-FOOTBALL TEAM


JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES

INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS

FLIP: A COLUMN ABOUT SKATEBOARDING

DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN

EXCERPTS FROM THE PANORAMA

SOLUTIONS TO BENJAMIN TAUSIG'S
THREE-DEMENSIONAL CROSSWORD PUZZLE
IN THE SAN FRANCISCO PANORAMA


ABOUT A VERY BAD WIZARD

ABOUT THE WILD THINGS

ABOUT THE CONVALESCENT

ABOUT FEVER CHART

ABOUT GOD SAYS NO

ABOUT ZEITOUN

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