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Just in time for Valentine's Day,
the Guardian in London has
reviewed and raved about
The Secret Language of Sleep.
And, for the rest of the week,
you can buy it for $5!

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A C C U R A T E   O R N E A R L Y   A C C U R A T E U T T E R A N C E S   O V E R H E A R D A T   T H E A T R E S   S H O W I N G T O D A Y ' S   M O S T   P O P U L A R F E A T U R E   F I L M S , P R E S E N T E D   A S A   M A T C H I N G   G A M E . BY GREGORY GALLOWAY - - - - 1. The Lexus is a much better car than the Infiniti   A. Toy Story 2 2. What's she doing now? B. The Green Mile 3. She's so fucking hot C. Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo 4. Come on, that's ridiculous D. The World is Not Enough 5. Even rich people can get fucked up E. End of Days 6. Didn't he have expensive and dangerous plastic surgery on his jaw F. Sleepy Hollow 7. What's with the ugly beard? G. Being John Malkovich 8. That's not Cameron Diaz H. American Beauty 9. Is this supposed to be funny? I. Sweet and Lowdown 10. This is like a bad soufflé, or omelette, or something else with eggs that should be good but isn't J. Three Kings 11. That guy's crazy     12. Ron Perlman might be an ugly dwarf, but he's a rich ugly dwarf     13. This sucks     Answers: 1 - J 2 - F, H 3 - D, F, H 4 - B, C, F 5 - E, G 6 - E 7 - A, B 8 - D, F 9 - G 10 - H 11 - C, E, F, G, H, I 12 - H 13 - All     OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES: - - - - Open Letter to Antidisestablishmentarianism By Eric McHenry A D'Agostino Supermarket Receipt Found Left Inside a Copy of Denis Johnson's "Jesus' Son" by the Previous Person to Check It Out of the Library, Presumably Used as a Bookmark, and Perhaps Shedding Some Light on the Type of Person Who Reads This Book, or Perhaps Not (With Commentary) By Francis Heaney There Is No Average Day When You Live in a Port-A-Potty By Todd Butterfly Pruzan Eat the Document By Cathy Alter Manifesto for Themeless Restaurant By Peter Schooff

- - - - MAIN PAGE | ARCHIVES Memories of Amanda Davis Red dot denotes content that is new today. Black dot denotes newish content. McSWEENEY'S STORE SUBSCRIBE TO: McSWEENEY'S THE BELIEVER WHOLPHIN FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE THE BEST AMERICAN NONREQUIRED READING McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST BOOKSTORES WITH A McSWEENEY'S DISPLAY McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: FOR BOOKS FOR THE QUARTERLY FOR THE WEBSITE FOR WHOLPHIN McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS CONTACT US - - - - LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S LISTS McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD NEW WHOLPHIN FILM TEDDY WAYNE'S UNPOPULAR PROVERBS NON-ESSENTIAL MNEMONICS BITCHSLAP: A COLUMN ABOUT WOMEN AND FIGHTING DISPATCHES FROM A GUY TRYING UNSUCCESSFULLY TO SELL A SONG IN NASHVILLE GLOBAL WAR ON BEDBUGS: LETTERS FROM BEDBUG CITY THE CONFLICTED EXISTENCE OF A FEMALE PORN WRITER OH MY GAWD: A COLUMN ABOUT A TEENAGER NAVIGATING RELIGION DISPATCHES FROM MANILA DISPATCHES FROM AN INDIAN CASINO THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST CHRIS WHITE ANSWERS PROFOUND QUESTIONS ABOUT THE PRESIDENTS REPORTS FROM THE PINBALL SCENE LETTERS FROM THE HELLBOX NOTES FROM AN AMATEUR SPECTATOR AT AMATEUR MIXED MARTIAL ARTS FIGHTS B.R. COHEN'S DAYS AT THE MUSEUM CONVERSATIONS AT A WARTIME CAFÉ GRANT MUNROE'S CORPORATE FOLKTALES SARAH WALKER SHOWS YOU HOW DISPATCHES FROM AN ENVIRONMENTAL LAWYER WHO IS TRYING TO GROW A MUSTACHE DISPATCHES FROM A HANGDOG BANKRUPT DISPATCHES FROM THE CAPITAL DISPATCHES FROM INDIA THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL SEAN MICHAELS LISTENS TO MUSIC IN MONTREAL SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE YOUR MONEY, YOUR JOB ... YOUR LIFE, WITH ALISON ROSEN KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY E-MAILS SENT TO THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA ENGLISH DEPARTMENT FLAG-FOOTBALL TEAM TRAVELING EUROPE IN STYLE WITH AUCKLAND DINGIROO, DARK-AGE TOURIST AND CRITIC OF FOOD AND DRINK JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS FLIP: A COLUMN ABOUT SKATEBOARDING OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELBRITY MUSICALS DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN EXCERPTS FROM THE PANORAMA SOLUTIONS TO BENJAMIN TAUSIG'S THREE-DEMENSIONAL CROSSWORD PUZZLE IN THE SAN FRANCISCO PANORAMA ABOUT A VERY BAD WIZARD ABOUT THE WILD THINGS ABOUT THE CONVALESCENT ABOUT FEVER CHART ABOUT GOD SAYS NO ABOUT ZEITOUN - - - - ADDITIONAL MATERIAL