Through this Friday, all available back issues of Wholphin are half off—10 bucks apiece for countless warm evenings of rare films, featuring Miranda July, Paul Rudd, Donald Trump, and a monkey-faced eel. - - - - |
While walking to work one recent morning, Tom Carlson saw a homeless man holding a sign that read: "Vietnam Vet. Please help." Mr. Carlson thought about giving the man some money, but decided against it when he remembered he had exact change for coffee. - - - - Spotted: A sign posted in the window of a Chase on 57th-- Mon. 8-3 - - - - Last Tuesday's downpour left several drenched people on the M104. One harried woman muttered sarcastically to Rich Killeen, "Great day, huh?" Mr. Killeen couldn't resist chiming back, "Yeah, for ducks." Mr. Killeen reports his remark was met with an appreciative half-smile. - - - - Dramatis personae: Newsstand cashier, a well-dressed businessman and a bemused Walter Kim, who witnessed the following on 86th Street-- Businessman: Pack of Trident. - - - - It was with slight trepidation that Chris Schukei entered his boss' office last week. His fears were quickly assuaged, however, when the boss explained he wanted Mr. Schukei to attend a business convention in Hawaii. Without missing a beat Mr. Schukei quipped, "Well, it's a tough job, but somebody's gotta do it." - - - - Eric Stangel writes that he was walking along 14th Street with his wife last Saturday when he spotted a woman who looked a great deal like a woman with whom he's been having an affair. While it wasn't the same woman, it left Mr. Stangel understandably distracted during dinner. When his wife asked what was wrong, he replied, "Work." - - - - Betsy Wagner was already late for a meeting when the heel of her shoe broke. With no time to get a new pair, Ms. Wagner improvised a quick solution--she chopped off her right foot with a serrated blade she keeps in her purse. "I made the meeting with minutes to spare!" Ms. Wagner proudly writes. - - - - Lorraine writes that just when you think New Yorkers are completely heartless, something happens to restore your faith. Ms. Galler got on an elevator in her building holding two large shopping bags. An elderly man asked what floor she was going to and then pressed it for her. Ms. Galler returned home not only with her groceries, but also with a reminder of why we love this crazy city.
OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES:
Another example of the illuminating correspondence between John Hodgman, Professional Literary Agent, and his cousin, one 'Josh,' who aims to be a man of letters. By John Hodgman Fragments from Elian! The Musical By Ben Greenman A Brief Parody of a Talk Show That Falls Apart About Halfway Through By Tim Carvell Thought Police Blotter By Kurt Luchs How I Voted in the Weather Channel's Top 10 Storms of the Century Poll By Kevin Guilfoile |
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