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Now available for preorder:
The San Francisco Panorama.
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[John Bowe, a McSweeney's contributor currently living in Thailand, often visits a certain internet café in Bangkok. Sometimes, unsent or already-sent letters are still on the screens of the café's computers, in which case John forwards them to us, so that we might do the right thing: share them with you. Here are the first four, with more to come.] - - - - My Dearest Bruce, Mind have already sent 2 E-Mail to you , Why don't you answer me back. Are you busy? Do you know? , I am nearly got crazy now. I didn't go to work for 2 days because I was really drunk. And everytime I wake up I cried because of missing you. Everytime I wake up , I didn't see you beside me, I see only my friend. I have never been like this before why I love you so much. I cried and tell my friend that only thing I know now , That is I can't stay without you. I try to cool down myself by thinking that you are taking a train from Chiangmai to Bangkok. Sometimes, I think that you are taking photoes of beautiful flowers at Chiengmai to show me. When will you come to see me? Yeah, you may like other girls, but I don't want to think about that because I love you so much. Although I am really in deep pain now, I wish you are happy . I am nearly died because of missing you. I can't even look at myself now . I am very sad. I have to take a lot of sleeping pills which I have never taken as much as this before. If I die, I will not blame you because this is my fault. It's my fault because of missing you too much. Love you all the rest of my life
- - - - My dear Arthur, I have already got you E-mail, I am very happy that you are happy. I hope you will be like this all the time. I have seen you picture in E-mail. Can you send you picture to me again? And in the same time do you want to receive my picture. Please wait for a while I will send the picture to you soon. Anyway, please take good care of yourself and eat a lot of food. I have to go working now
Mind - - - - My dear Harvard, How are you now? Why didn't you send any news to me? When will you come to Thailand. Everybody here is missing you and waiting you.. whenever you come, please send E-mail to me. So I cant pick you up at the airport. I miss you so much. I really need to see you, I really need to kiss you and be in your arm. I have to go working now
- - - - Hello Frank How are you? The pass holiday where you go with your family. Where are you stay now? I would like you know I miss you all the time. Are you still work or stop work? When you will come to Thailand? Are you remember me? or forgot me already? But I want you know I never forgot you. Because I love you and respect you. You are lovely, polite, kindness and to be responsible. Here the weather is hot but not too much. My house it's very cold, water it to change is ice. I'm very happy when I stay with my family. I have some food is so good and I like there. My father he cook for me and too delicious. Every evening when I finish work will come back and have some eat at my house. I go back to work at Ching Rai about 1 month is enjoyed very much. Because it's good weather. But I work have income not enough to expenses. Today I come back to Bangkok again. I have starting new job here tomorrow at Jack Holt Salon. It's stay at 9 floor of Novotel hotel. My address stay at same place and same room. If you come back please call to me at my work or my room. This is number at my shop 261-0111 ext. 1002,1003. This is number at my room 512-0175-84 room 2912. Please take care of yourself I'm worry about you. Please reply to me back I will waiting always. Don't forgot I'm waiting you here. Love & Miss you always
OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES:
Instructions for Reaching the Bridge to the 21st Century By Paul Maliszewski Vignettes That Won't Make It Into the New York Times "Metropolitan Diary" By Tom Ruprecht Another example of the illuminating correspondence between John Hodgman, Professional Literary Agent, and his cousin, one 'Josh,' who aims to be a man of letters. By John Hodgman Fragments from Elian! The Musical By Ben Greenman A Brief Parody of a Talk Show That Falls Apart About Halfway Through By Tim Carvell |
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