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Dave Eggers' The Wild Things is available for preorder, in regular hardcover and
limited-edition fur-covered.

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F U N   W I T H   N A M E S . BY TOM RUPRECHT - - - - Did you know if tennis sensation Mary Pierce married "Friends" star Matthew Perry, she'd become Mary Perry? But wait, it gets even better! If Perry's co-star Jennifer Aniston married New Hampshire Senator Bob Smith, she'd become Jennifer Smith. Just try saying that one three times fast! Or how 'bout if Yoko Ono married James Coco and kept her name, she'd be known as Yoko Ono! And if Yoko Ono married Dave Grohl, she'd eventually break up the Foo Fighters. Did you know if Bjork married Bjorn Borg and took his name, she'd have to alert her bank and get new checks? If rocker Liz Phair married former National Security Adviser Zbigniew Brzezinski, she'd become Mrs. Zbigniew Brzezinski. Now that's a mouthful! Remember when Julia Roberts married Lyle Lovett? Man, that came out of nowhere. If Star Jones married Ringo Starr, he would get arrested for bigamy -- unless he divorced Barbara Bach first. If Al Gore's wife Tipper left him for a stripper, the headline would maybe read: "Gore Remains Focused on Campaign Despite Marital Woes." If Lynn Swann married former Red Sox outfielder Fred Lynn, the ceremony would have to take place in Hawaii or Vermont. And finally, if Cher married Charles Nelson Reilly, divorced him and married coach Pat Riley, then divorced him and married Patrick Ewing, divorced him and married deceased business tycoon Ewing Kauffman, she'd be known as Cher!     OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES: - - - - A Nomad in the World, Part I By Paul Maliszewski Election 2000, as seen from Chile, Part Four By Marc Herman Flannery O'Connor Meets the Beatles By Todd Pruzan The Love That Stopped Time: A Play, Consisting of Pure Conjecture, in One Act By Tim Carvell Fragments From Elian! The Musical By Ben Greenman

- - - - MAIN PAGE | ARCHIVES Memories of Amanda Davis Red dot denotes content that is new today. Black dot denotes newish content. McSWEENEY'S STORE SUBSCRIBE TO: McSWEENEY'S THE BELIEVER WHOLPHIN FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE THE BEST AMERICAN NONREQUIRED READING McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST BOOKSTORES WITH A McSWEENEY'S DISPLAY McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: FOR BOOKS FOR THE QUARTERLY FOR THE WEBSITE FOR WHOLPHIN McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS CONTACT US - - - - LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S LISTS McSWEENEY'S PREDICTS McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS NEW WHOLPHIN FILM DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST TEDDY WAYNE'S UNPOPULAR PROVERBS REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD DISPATCHES FROM MANILA DISPATCHES FROM MOSCOW AND HERE'S THE KICKER: MIKE SACKS'S CONVERSATIONS WITH HUMOR WRITERS SARAH WALKER SHOWS YOU HOW DISPATCHES FROM AN ENVIRONMENTAL LAWYER WHO IS TRYING TO GROW A MUSTACHE DISPATCHES FROM A HANGDOG BANKRUPT DISPATCHES FROM THE ANACOSTIA DISPATCHES FROM THE CAPITAL DISPATCHES FROM INDIA THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELEBRITY MUSICALS SEAN MICHAELS LISTENS TO MUSIC IN MONTREAL SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES KIDS' LETTERS TO PRESIDENT OBAMA STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE DISPATCHES FROM THE WINGS AT THE BALLET YOUR MONEY, YOUR JOB ... YOUR LIFE, WITH ALISON ROSEN KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE LAWRENCE WESCHLER'S EVERYTHING THAT RISES: A BOOK OF CONVERGENCES THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST ABOUT THE CONVALESCENT ABOUT GOD SAYS NO ABOUT UNDERGROUND AMERICA ABOUT THANKS AND HAVE FUN RUNNING THE COUNTRY LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY DISPATCHES FROM ADJUNCT FACULTY AT A LARGE STATE UNIVERSITY E-MAILS SENT TO THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA ENGLISH DEPARTMENT FLAG-FOOTBALL TEAM ADVICE FROM A PERSON WITH A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS FLIP: A COLUMN ABOUT SKATEBOARDING OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY DAN KENNEDY SOLVES YOUR PROBLEMS WITH PAPER STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT - - - - ADDITIONAL MATERIAL