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CAST Edna Montague SYNOPSIS Edna Montague discovers Tom Weatherby at the thoroughbred races. Instantly, she falls in love. She spies Louis Weatherby and inquires about Tom's standing. Might the man known to all the world as your brother be, oh, how shall I say, available? Louis tells Edna that Tom is to be married, a falsehood. Edna is distressed. Tom returns from his stint fighting the good fight in the trenches of Belgium in time to place his bet on the next race, find the fetching Edna, and beseech her to be his bride. Edna declines, more distressed than before. Louis, meanwhile, has opened a successful chain of family-oriented theme dining establishments and gained favor with Edna. Tom sprouts the wings of a moth and flies, dejectedly, to the track saloon, drinks, then falls unconscious. A group of drunken bystanders (the Saloon Habitués) begin to molest Tom, creating a loud disturbance. Louis comes to his aid, and in a moment of remorse, admits his duplicity. Tom asks once more for Edna's hand, and this time, cheered on by the Nurse, the Doctor, and the Saloon Habitués, who are very sorry for what they've done, even though it all turned out for the best, really, she agrees. Curtains. House lights. Good night, everybody. Good night.
OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES:
Dear Mr. Colorful Radio Personality By S. Aulenback Preview of Summer Camps: Camp Previews Three and Four (in a series of ten) By Jeff Johnson I Write Short Books About the Popular Bands of the Day. Here Is My Story. By Catherine Zymet Humor Beginning With an Excerpt From a Newspaper By Tim Carvell |
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