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You do not have to watch TV or buy expensive books or go to psychics to see angels. You can see them. Everyone can see them. This is a secret that many large companies do not want you to know about. But let me tell you: it is not that big a deal. Here's how you do it: First you have to be in pain. If you are honest with yourself, this should not be too difficult. Then you have to lie down. Perhaps you have a couch. That will do. Then you have to wait. Try to cultivate an expectant air about you, one you think an angel might find welcoming. Eventually, one will appear. You will know when you see something like the underside of a cow skull, hanging in the air. Angels will not say "Fear not" unless they have something very important to say, which does not happen very often. This is why, when an angel appears to you, you have to do some work. You have to try not to be afraid. Even if you are afraid, just withstand it quietly. Do not say out loud, do not even think to yourself, "I am afraid" or the angel will have to disappear. This is not their fault. It's just the way it is. Don't be discouraged. It may take you many times of doing this before you are unafraid enough so an angel can hang around. When one does show up, say thank you right away. If you don't know what else to say, say thank you over and over. Now you have seen an angel. See? They are everywhere. They want to help you. You can ask them for help anytime. But the bottom line is, you are still here. And they are still there. Now, get back to work.
OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES:
Two Real Things From Elsewhere Index of First Lines By Greg Purcell This Evening at the Brookings Institution: An Unoccupied Microphone By Peter O'Toole An Interview With the World's Fastest Computer By Ben Greenman In Other Magazines By Amie Barrodale |
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