We're giving away books this holiday season. Click here to learn more about our very special holiday deal. - - - -

Y O U R   N E I G H B O R H O O D L A U N D R A C L E A N . BY ALYSIA GRAY PAINTER - - - - Suits 2-Piece Suits...$8.95 3-Piece Suits...$11.95 5-Piece Suits...$14.45 11-Piece Suits...$29.45 Jackets Unlined...$6.95 Lined...$6.99 With Sleeves...$70.00 Sweaters Nubby...$6.95 Extra Nubby...$8.00 Coats Trench coat...$9.95 Trench mouth...Negotiable Skirts Dowdy...$4.95 Seen on supermodel...$85.00 Seen off supermodel...$150.00 Ties Yes...$5.95 Blouses Top...$3.95 Bottom...$1.00 Gloves Grandmother's...$8.99 Preening fop's...$35.99 Tuxedos Prom...$40.00 Wedding...$50.00 Funeral...$100.00 Fancy Dresses Jailbait...$1.60 Coquette...$3.00 Tomato...$6.75 Patootie...$7.95 Cutie Patootie (further fees may apply)...$12.99 Varsity Jackets Mascot on sleeve...$65.00 Year on sleeve...$65.00 Mascot pretending to sit on Year or hug Year or somehow interact with Year...$70.00 Fluff-n-Fold Fluff...$5.00 Fold...$5.00 -n-...$2.00 Zippers Zzzzip...$10.00 Foosh...$6.00 Kak-aka-kak...$4.00 Furs Dyed...$100.00 Waists Take in...$6.00 Take out...$7.00 See again...$8.00 Hems (Laundraclean is legally prohibited from commenting on hems at this time, please check back next month or call the owner after 7pm weekdays except Thursday thank you.) Custom colors Blue Black Red Green, darker than lime All of the above...$5.00, unless taupe is present, then $1.50 surcharge Costumes Sweet...$20.00 Scary...$20.00 Others...$25.00 Ask us about: Leather sweating Notions (references may be requested) Collar color Pillow per pound Removable belt loops Suede for Lunch (no affiliation with Lucky Laundry's "Suede for Brunch") Thread you never thought possible Personal pleating A hat the whole family will enjoy Rewoven things Our gentleman's club Shoes that can be worn on virtually any surface, day or night Waterproofing for young and old (Fido, too!) Past and current customers say: "If you ever again touch my clothes" "you should never" "say sorry" "because I am [word illegible] happy with your service." (responses provided by our valued patrons Mary M., Connie B., Mary M., Don S.) !!! Present this ad and receive a dollar off your next Burnitizing(tm) treatment (drapes excluded) !!! All buttonholes considered.     OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES: - - - - A Letter From Ezra Pound to Billy Wilder, 1963 By Greg Purcell From the Recently Recovered Meditations of Marcus Aurelius By Amie Barrodale Preview of Summer Camps: Camp Five By Jeff Johnson A Very Special Episode of: Ask the McSweeney's Representative The Sweetest Sound By Ben Greenman

- - - - MAIN PAGE   |   ARCHIVES   Memories of Amanda Davis   Red dot denotes content that is new today. Black dot denotes newish content. McSWEENEY'S STORE SUBSCRIBE TO: McSWEENEY'S THE BELIEVER WHOLPHIN FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE THE BEST AMERICAN NONREQUIRED READING McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: FOR BOOKS FOR THE QUARTERLY FOR THE WEBSITE FOR WHOLPHIN McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS CONTACT US - - - - LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S LISTS McSWEENEY'S PREDICTS McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS NEW WHOLPHIN FILM DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST JOKES BY BRIAN BEATTY REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD DISPATCHES FROM MANILA DISPATCHES FROM MOSCOW SO YOU WANT TO BE PRESIDENT? DISPATCHES FROM THE ANACOSTIA THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELEBRITY MUSICALS DISPATCHES FROM A HUMANITARIAN JOURNALIST SEAN MICHAELS LISTENS TO MUSIC IN MONTREAL DEB OLIN UNFERTH'S SICK OF THE REVOLUTION DISPATCHES FROM IRAQ SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES PHILIP GRAHAM SPENDS A YEAR IN LISBON STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE DISPATCHES FROM THE NAPOLEONIC WARS AT THE MET KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE SONGS OF ENEMIES AND DESERTS: LIVING WITH THE SUDAN LIBERATION ARMY LAWRENCE WESCHLER'S EVERYTHING THAT RISES: A BOOK OF CONVERGENCES THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST ABOUT WHAT IS THE WHAT ABOUT BOWL OF CHERRIES ABOUT COMEDY BY THE NUMBERS ABOUT JOHN BRANDON'S ARKANSAS ABOUT MICHAEL CHABON'S MAPS AND LEGENDS ABOUT UNDERGROUND AMERICA ABOUT DEB OLIN UNFERTH'S VACATION LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY DISPATCHES FROM ADJUNCT FACULTY AT A LARGE STATE UNIVERSITY ADVICE FROM A PERSON WITH A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY DISPATCHES FROM THE NBA ENTERTAINMENT LEAGUE JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES B.R. COHEN'S ANNALS OF SCIENCE INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY DISPATCHES FROM ROY KESEY, AN AMERICAN GUY MARRIED TO A PERUVIAN DIPLOMAT LIVING IN CHINA DAN KENNEDY SOLVES YOUR PROBLEMS WITH PAPER STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT - - - - ADDITIONAL MATERIAL