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Now available for preorder:
The San Francisco Panorama.

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Y O U R   N E I G H B O R H O O D L A U N D R A C L E A N . BY ALYSIA GRAY PAINTER - - - - Suits 2-Piece Suits...$8.95 3-Piece Suits...$11.95 5-Piece Suits...$14.45 11-Piece Suits...$29.45 Jackets Unlined...$6.95 Lined...$6.99 With Sleeves...$70.00 Sweaters Nubby...$6.95 Extra Nubby...$8.00 Coats Trench coat...$9.95 Trench mouth...Negotiable Skirts Dowdy...$4.95 Seen on supermodel...$85.00 Seen off supermodel...$150.00 Ties Yes...$5.95 Blouses Top...$3.95 Bottom...$1.00 Gloves Grandmother's...$8.99 Preening fop's...$35.99 Tuxedos Prom...$40.00 Wedding...$50.00 Funeral...$100.00 Fancy Dresses Jailbait...$1.60 Coquette...$3.00 Tomato...$6.75 Patootie...$7.95 Cutie Patootie (further fees may apply)...$12.99 Varsity Jackets Mascot on sleeve...$65.00 Year on sleeve...$65.00 Mascot pretending to sit on Year or hug Year or somehow interact with Year...$70.00 Fluff-n-Fold Fluff...$5.00 Fold...$5.00 -n-...$2.00 Zippers Zzzzip...$10.00 Foosh...$6.00 Kak-aka-kak...$4.00 Furs Dyed...$100.00 Waists Take in...$6.00 Take out...$7.00 See again...$8.00 Hems (Laundraclean is legally prohibited from commenting on hems at this time, please check back next month or call the owner after 7pm weekdays except Thursday thank you.) Custom colors Blue Black Red Green, darker than lime All of the above...$5.00, unless taupe is present, then $1.50 surcharge Costumes Sweet...$20.00 Scary...$20.00 Others...$25.00 Ask us about: Leather sweating Notions (references may be requested) Collar color Pillow per pound Removable belt loops Suede for Lunch (no affiliation with Lucky Laundry's "Suede for Brunch") Thread you never thought possible Personal pleating A hat the whole family will enjoy Rewoven things Our gentleman's club Shoes that can be worn on virtually any surface, day or night Waterproofing for young and old (Fido, too!) Past and current customers say: "If you ever again touch my clothes" "you should never" "say sorry" "because I am [word illegible] happy with your service." (responses provided by our valued patrons Mary M., Connie B., Mary M., Don S.) !!! Present this ad and receive a dollar off your next Burnitizing(tm) treatment (drapes excluded) !!! All buttonholes considered.     OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES: - - - - A Letter From Ezra Pound to Billy Wilder, 1963 By Greg Purcell From the Recently Recovered Meditations of Marcus Aurelius By Amie Barrodale Preview of Summer Camps: Camp Five By Jeff Johnson A Very Special Episode of: Ask the McSweeney's Representative The Sweetest Sound By Ben Greenman

- - - - MAIN PAGE | ARCHIVES Memories of Amanda Davis Red dot denotes content that is new today. Black dot denotes newish content. McSWEENEY'S STORE SUBSCRIBE TO: McSWEENEY'S THE BELIEVER WHOLPHIN FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE THE BEST AMERICAN NONREQUIRED READING McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST BOOKSTORES WITH A McSWEENEY'S DISPLAY McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: FOR BOOKS FOR THE QUARTERLY FOR THE WEBSITE FOR WHOLPHIN McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS CONTACT US - - - - LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S LISTS McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD NEW WHOLPHIN FILM DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST TEDDY WAYNE'S UNPOPULAR PROVERBS NON-ESSENTIAL MNEMONICS BITCHSLAP: A COLUMN ABOUT WOMEN AND FIGHTING DISPATCHES FROM A GUY TRYING UNSUCCESSFULLY TO SELL A SONG IN NASHVILLE GLOBAL WAR ON BEDBUGS: LETTERS FROM BEDBUG CITY THE CONFLICTED EXISTENCE OF A FEMALE PORN WRITER OH MY GAWD: A COLUMN ABOUT A TEENAGER NAVIGATING RELIGION DISPATCHES FROM MANILA DISPATCHES FROM AN INDIAN CASINO THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST CHRIS WHITE ANSWERS PROFOUND QUESTIONS ABOUT THE PRESIDENTS REPORTS FROM THE PINBALL SCENE LETTERS FROM THE HELLBOX NOTES FROM AN AMATEUR SPECTATOR AT AMATEUR MIXED MARTIAL ARTS FIGHTS B.R. COHEN'S DAYS AT THE MUSEUM CONVERSATIONS AT A WARTIME CAFÉ AND HERE'S THE KICKER: MIKE SACKS'S CONVERSATIONS WITH HUMOR WRITERS GRANT MUNROE'S CORPORATE FOLKTALES SARAH WALKER SHOWS YOU HOW DISPATCHES FROM AN ENVIRONMENTAL LAWYER WHO IS TRYING TO GROW A MUSTACHE DISPATCHES FROM A HANGDOG BANKRUPT DISPATCHES FROM THE CAPITAL DISPATCHES FROM INDIA THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL SEAN MICHAELS LISTENS TO MUSIC IN MONTREAL SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES KIDS' LETTERS TO PRESIDENT OBAMA STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE YOUR MONEY, YOUR JOB ... YOUR LIFE, WITH ALISON ROSEN KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE ABOUT THE WILD THINGS ABOUT THE CONVALESCENT ABOUT FEVER CHART ABOUT GOD SAYS NO ABOUT ZEITOUN LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY E-MAILS SENT TO THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA ENGLISH DEPARTMENT FLAG-FOOTBALL TEAM TRAVELING EUROPE IN STYLE WITH AUCKLAND DINGIROO, DARK-AGE TOURIST AND CRITIC OF FOOD AND DRINK JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS FLIP: A COLUMN ABOUT SKATEBOARDING OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY DAN KENNEDY SOLVES YOUR PROBLEMS WITH PAPER STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT - - - - ADDITIONAL MATERIAL