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Dave Eggers' The Wild Things is available for preorder, in regular hardcover and
limited-edition fur-covered.

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F R A N C I S   H E A N E Y ' S L I P O G R A M M A T I C C O N S U M E R   G U I D E . BY FRANCIS HEANEY - - - - A REVIEW OF BECK'S "MIDNITE VULTURES," USING ONLY THE LETTERS IN "BECK: MIDNITE VULTURES." It's... indiscreet. It's like, "dick, dick, dick; smut, smut, smut; vice, vice, vice; slut, slut, slut." Seductive Beck is Mister Luv. Is Beck music's kinkiest librettist ever? Beck, it seems, desires submissive bimbette mistresses under seventeen, dressed in slit miniskirts, derriere unveiled. But I'd surmise nine men in ten lust like Beck lusts; it isn't eccentric. Is "Midnite Vultures" sick? It'd incite tics in numbskull Bible Belt residents, sure, but it isn't sick, it's slick. Slick like crème brûlée, dude, believe me. "Midnite Vultures'" eclectic music revels in its ebullient leisure-suit-'n'-sideburns seventies vibe. Never mind its tunes' intermittent mindlessness. I like it. - - - - A REVIEW OF THE CURE'S "BLOODFLOWERS," USING ONLY THE LETTERS IN "THE CURE: BLOODFLOWERS." Oh, Lord. "Bloodflowers," where the out-of-touch Cure tell us, "Toodle-oo, fellow brotherhood of scowlers, we're bored." Well, we're bored too. Cheerless, self-obsessed Robert S. broods for the whole dull CD. Heretofore, Cure records were sorrowful, sure, but so short of soul? The wretched "Bloodflowers" follows Robert S.'s Rules of Order to the letter: Be blue, show oodles of woe, use two or three chords, flow too slow, blow out the subwoofers. The Cure's obsolete subculture'll doubtless feel the CD's cool, but the rest of the world should flee. Flee! Flee the terror of "Bloodflowers"! The CD's worth lots of four-letter words, but we'll be less rude; so, to close: Show "Bloodflowers" the cold shoulder. Blecch. - - - - A REVIEW OF XTC'S "WASP STAR," USING ONLY THE LETTERS IN "XTC: WASP STAR." XTC's art: strata apart. "Wasp Star's" wax trax attract rapt cats: A+ - - - - A REVIEW OF BELLE & SEBASTIAN'S "FOLD YOUR HANDS, CHILD, YOU WALK LIKE A PEASANT," USING ONLY THE LETTERS IN "BELLE & SEBASTIAN: FOLD YOUR HANDS, CHILD, YOU WALK LIKE A PEASANT." It's nice.     OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES: - - - - Philadelphia: Into the Maw By Neal Pollack New Riddles for Five-Ounce Dixie Cups By Dan Kennedy Take the Pepsi Challenge By Whitney Pastorek Two Things About Yo Mama By Katie Pearce and Andrew Smales Sharon Fleder, Animal Publicist By Tim Carvell

- - - - MAIN PAGE | ARCHIVES Memories of Amanda Davis Red dot denotes content that is new today. Black dot denotes newish content. McSWEENEY'S STORE SUBSCRIBE TO: McSWEENEY'S THE BELIEVER WHOLPHIN FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE THE BEST AMERICAN NONREQUIRED READING McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST BOOKSTORES WITH A McSWEENEY'S DISPLAY McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: FOR BOOKS FOR THE QUARTERLY FOR THE WEBSITE FOR WHOLPHIN McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS CONTACT US - - - - LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S LISTS McSWEENEY'S PREDICTS McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS NEW WHOLPHIN FILM DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST TEDDY WAYNE'S UNPOPULAR PROVERBS REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD DISPATCHES FROM MANILA DISPATCHES FROM MOSCOW AND HERE'S THE KICKER: MIKE SACKS'S CONVERSATIONS WITH HUMOR WRITERS SARAH WALKER SHOWS YOU HOW DISPATCHES FROM AN ENVIRONMENTAL LAWYER WHO IS TRYING TO GROW A MUSTACHE DISPATCHES FROM A HANGDOG BANKRUPT DISPATCHES FROM THE ANACOSTIA DISPATCHES FROM THE CAPITAL DISPATCHES FROM INDIA THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELEBRITY MUSICALS SEAN MICHAELS LISTENS TO MUSIC IN MONTREAL SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES KIDS' LETTERS TO PRESIDENT OBAMA STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE DISPATCHES FROM THE WINGS AT THE BALLET YOUR MONEY, YOUR JOB ... YOUR LIFE, WITH ALISON ROSEN KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE LAWRENCE WESCHLER'S EVERYTHING THAT RISES: A BOOK OF CONVERGENCES THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST ABOUT THE CONVALESCENT ABOUT GOD SAYS NO ABOUT UNDERGROUND AMERICA ABOUT THANKS AND HAVE FUN RUNNING THE COUNTRY LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY DISPATCHES FROM ADJUNCT FACULTY AT A LARGE STATE UNIVERSITY E-MAILS SENT TO THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA ENGLISH DEPARTMENT FLAG-FOOTBALL TEAM ADVICE FROM A PERSON WITH A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS FLIP: A COLUMN ABOUT SKATEBOARDING OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY DAN KENNEDY SOLVES YOUR PROBLEMS WITH PAPER STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT - - - - ADDITIONAL MATERIAL