Please welcome Amy Jean Porter's horse T-shirt. For the next few days, the shirt is 20 percent off. - - - - |
WHAT KIDS SAID WHEN WE ASKED THEM IF THEY WOULD EVER GET MARRIED: "Do you have any cigarettes?" — Mike, age 5 "I'm always on tour." — Kristin, age 8 "I would marry Barbara Kruger. I'm kidding. Can you imagine? Me and Barbara Kruger? My God, there wouldn't be an optimist in that family no matter how many kids we had." — Paul, age 9 - - - - WHEN WE ASKED THEM WHY PEOPLE HAVE TO WORK:"I have no idea. I haven't had a so-called real job for years." — Ben, age 6 "Fear. Period." — Matthew, age 7 "I seriously want a cigarette if this is going to take more than five minutes." — Mike, age 5 - - - - WHEN WE ASKED THEM WHERE BABIES COME FROM:"That's it. Later." — Mike, age 5 "You're seriously asking me this? [pause] Are you? Yes or no, because you'll regret it, I guarantee you." — Amy, age 7 "Your family is Catholic. You haven't figured it out?" — Steven, age 6
OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES:
News From the Road By Neal Pollack British Radio Soap Opera Heard Via Weak Shortwave Signal, With Static and Distortion Rendered as Characters in Soap Opera By Colin Mort Static Personal Growth in 23 Days By Mark Schatzker Lake Minnesota Days By Neal Pollack The Great Sag By Paul Maliszewski |
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