- - - -
Millard Kaufman's final novel has arrived!
Pick up Misadventure now—or, see what
you've missed out on thus far by picking up
both Bowl of Cherries and Misadventure
for 27% off the retail price.
- - - -
[All items are real, and were found in early death records at the County Recorder's Office, City of Santa Barbara.] - - - - Accidental discharge of shotgun. (Hired by a Chinaman to protect strawberry patch from birds.) Laborer came to Guadelupe asphalt mines as a cooper from San Francisco in a demented condition, left there and was found dead several days after. Was a Domestic. One year ago last March had an attack of La Grippe, was not treated by any Doctor. I am informed by Dr. W.T. Lucas of this place that she had last December SubAcute Pneumonia which became chronic under my treatment about six weeks prior to death. Skeleton found near quick-silver mines. Unknown stranger run over by train. Carpenter. Was in Santa Barbara ten days only before dying. Never healthy. Its mother's disease, probably. Kicked in the belly by a mustang colt, rupturing bladder and injuring intestines. Sick 10 months, did not work. Overdose of whiskey not administered with criminal intent. Deceased was a laborer engage in chopping wood. Strangulation by falling and catching his neck in a wire loop. Lived at home and made fancy work for a living. Hired by M. Puzzi to work in hay-field. Cause of Death: drinking cold water while overheated. Falling from a bridge and being trampled by a horse. Think he was a farmer. Found ded in bead. Supposed to be single. Accidentally struck by RR Engine. Deceased was in the employment of the SPRR as a trackwalker. Harry Blockman a lad of 13 yrs. residing with his parents at Santa Maria was murdered by some unknown person with a knife or some similar instrument on the Eve of July 2nd, 1901. On Wm. Adam's place. Sheep & Pig Herder. Confirmed to be single. Found dead in tent a inquest held. Killed by Officer E.C. Niles.
OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES:
A Spoken-Word Poem for America By Neal Pollack On Message By Paul Maliszewski Ask A Former Professional Literary Agent, Part Five By John Hodgman Genetically modified trees that glow. A very real interview with Katy Presland By Bob Beier Mary Astor Spit Peanuts: The first in a series of fictional anecdotes and stories featuring Abbott and Costello By Kevin Guilfoile |
Red dot denotes content that is new today.
Black dot denotes newish content.
