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Just in time for Valentine's Day,
the Guardian in London has
reviewed and raved about
The Secret Language of Sleep.
And, for the rest of the week,
you can buy it for $5!
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Sunday, May 6 A NATION WAITS (CBS): In a special sweeps edition, Janet Reno announces that she knows where 500 presidential election ballots are being held by a militia of elderly Green Party members in rural Delaware. SURVIVOR II: AUSTRALIAN OUTBACK (CBS): The Republican tribe and the Democrat tribe meet in a crucial challenge; contestants will vote on changing the rules so that the tribe losing the Presidential election gets the consolation prize of being allowed to stay in the Outback; Kitty accuses Jackson of hiding wallaby meat. - - - - Monday, May 7 WHAT'S MY VOTE WITH PAT BUCHANAN (FOX): Buchanan presents guest Darva Conger with the most complicated ballot challenge yet in this popular Palm Beach-inspired test of hand-eye coordination and intelligence. CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT (NBC): A student sues the government for misrepresentation after a misguided attempt to apply to the Electoral College. Macaulay Culkin guest stars. A NATION WAITS CELEBRITY EDITION (CBS): Stars Candice Bergen, Norm Macdonald, Colin Quinn and others try to play the real McCoy in an anchor-off judged by Dan Rather and Lesley Stahl. Among the challenges: Distinguish which tally numbers are real; buzz-in competition on winner declarations; Sam Donaldson; metaphor match-up. - - - - Tuesday, May 8 MTV'S PRESIDENTIAL DEATHMATCH (MTV): Rapper and Detroit native Eminem gives impromptu concert at the Michigan State Elections Board headquarters, where a recount has been under way for the last three weeks. Bush campaign protests, saying no hand-tally could be accurate when performed amid the strains of "The Real Slim Shady." WEST WING (NBC): Bill Clinton guest stars. A NATION WAITS: PALM BEACH PARTY (CBS): Warren Christopher performs a medley with Celine Dion, Mike Wallace. (Contrary to earlier announcements, the cast of Will & Grace was encouraged by NBC to reconsider the appearance and will not appear.) - - - - Wednesday, May 9 LEGAL CHALLENGE 2000 (FOX): Robert Shapiro, Johnnie Cochrane, Gloria Allred and Marcia Clark make opening arguments in Gore challenge of Bush's personal hand recount in Texas. Also a look at Bush's motion to stop Gore from buying ad time on his segments of A Nation Waits. A NATION WAITS (CBS): Kitty from Survivor visits Gore campaign; Green Party ballot standoff in Delaware continues as Bush threatens to send in military. Gore protests Bush does not have authority to send in military; Bush ignores him. - - - - Thursday, May 10 A NATION WAITS (CBS): Bush surprises Gore with a call for elections in Puerto Rico and Guam; Gore ponders offer from Playgirl; Laura Bush speaks. WILL & GRACE (NBC): Bill Clinton guest stars. WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE (ABC): Hillary Clinton makes phone-a-friend appearance. - - - - Friday, May 11 POLITICALLY INCORRECT (ABC): Bill Clinton and Jack Valenti go head-to-head on movie violence and ratings. CARNAHAN, THE FRIENDLY SENATE GHOST (WB): This week Mel faces the loss of his seat, literally, when the Appropriations Committee moves to mark his Senate position with a plaque because the empty chair "looks silly." Haley Joel Osment guest stars as a boy helping to fight the discrimination. FUZZY MATH (ABC): Gore and Bush staffers compete on budget quiz show. - - - - Saturday, May 12 KENNEDY CENTER HONORS: BILL CLINTON, AGAIN (FOX) GETTING SNIPPY (UPN): Ralph Nader hosts a discussion of "election fatigue" and why viewership of A Nation Waits is declining among ages 18-34, plus why the power to book celebrity guests rests with the Democrats. Ashton Kutcher, Alyson Hannigan and Jonathan Taylor Thomas guest.
OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES:
Shampoo By Dustin Perkins Television (Part II) By Brad Kloza Ask a Brilliant but Eccentric Sleuth Who Is as Mysterious as the Many Legendary Crimes That He Has Solved, and Who Has Since Gone Into Hiding By John Hodgman Revising Strunk and White By Dan Kennedy The Election: Two Transcripts By Ben Bass and Sarah Schmelling |
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