
We're giving away books this holiday season. Click here to learn more about our very special holiday deal. - - - - |
"Get meI'm givin' out wings!" Nick the bartender You remember Nickthe barman at Martini's. Starched white shirt, neat bow tie. A good bartender and a good man. The last man, in fact, to show George Bailey some kindness before he heads out into the snow, desperate and alone, to take his own life. How is it then, in a world without George, that of all people, Nick becomes such a scumbag? At Martini's, the atmosphere is festive. It's Christmas Eve and the inn is full. Behind the bar, however, the ever-solicitous Nick notices that George Bailey is definitely not in the holiday spirit. He seems to be on the verge of tears. "You alright, George?" he inquires discreetly. "Want somebody to take you home?" George demurs. The scene ends when a man at the end of the bar punches George in the face. Nick helps George to his feet and out the door, toward his fated rendezvous with Clarence Oddbody, Angel Second Class. In idyllic Bedford Falls, Nick is a mild-mannered helpmeet, a man of apparently modest ambitions, content in his career as a barman for the equally kindly Mr. Martini, tavern owner (and Building & Loan customer). But in Pottersville, Nick is no longer anybody's second-in-command. Gone is the crisply dressed, polite young man. At "Nick's", the establishment that Martini's has become in this parallel universe, he is clearly the man in chargeand loving it. Hair greased back, eyelids at half mast he is the surly center of attention, a tough guy sporting a loud shirt and a clashing, polka-dot bow-tie (Like everything else in "It's a Wonderful Life," fashion sense is also linked to George Bailey's existence.) Even his voice swaggers. "I'm the boss around here," he tells George and Clarence. But Nick's not merely the boss, feeling his oatshe's deliberately unpleasant. Mean. Nasty. Nick is... an asshole. In his brief exchange with George and Clarencewhom he takes to be, well, out of placeNick becomes increasingly annoyed: "We serve hard drinks in here for men who want to get drunk, fast, and we don't need any 'characters' around to give the joint 'atmosphere', is that clear?" He offers the duo a look of sheer disgust after Clarencewho has just heard a ringing cash registerexclaims, "Every time you hear a bell ring, it means that some angel's just got his wings." Seconds later Nick ejects the duo. "That does it," he barks. "Out you two pixies go, through the door or out the window!" Obviously, George Bailey's ceasing to exist wrecks many lives. But what exactly is the deal with Nick? What went so wrong, so fast? Herewith, possible explanations: Was he merely predisposed? Perhaps Pottersville didn't alter Nick's behavior; maybe he was always a wiseguy but just hid it until Mr. Martini was out of the picture. We don't know what "Bedford Falls Nick" does for laughs - one can almost imagine him helping old ladies cross the street but in Pottersville, we see that he gets his kicks by gleefully tormenting the downtrodden. Case in point: Mr. Gower. After the defrocked druggist wanders into the bar looking for a handout, Nick proceeds to douse the old man with a seltzer bottle, to the delight of the bar patrons. He probably also pulls the wings off flies. And there's more. Nick appears in Martini's for the first time the very instant that George says, "Show me the way, God." George is then assaulted by Mr. Welsh, the schoolteacher's husband seated at the bar. (Who first identifies him to Mr. Welsh? Nick.) "That's what I get for praying," says George. Of course, the answer could be something simpler. In the alternate universe, perhaps Nick's mother never loved him. As Clarence says, no man is a failure who has friends, and it looks like the "dark" Nick is Mr. Popularity, compared with his benign shadow. We'll never know which fate serves him better. Maybe in Pottersville, only one guy gets to be happy and prosperous, and it's Nick. One thing, however, is clear. If it weren't for Uncle Billy, none of this would have happened.
OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES:
Happy Holidays From Maria Callas By Tom Gliatto Welcome to the Nestor Township Parade By Christina Nunez Shhh! It's a Baby Shower! By Alysia Gray Painter Email to the Guy Who Runs the Football Pool By Dan Davis How to Avoid a Hangover By Colleen O'Brien |