- - - -
Now available for preorder:
The San Francisco Panorama.
- - - -
Scene 1: La vida, la muerte Two women are sitting at a small round table. One of them is staring into an almost empty cup of cappuccino, her hands wrapped around it in a hopeless attempt to reach a sense of well-being. She tears her hands away from the cup and abruptly sets them down on the table, palms facing up. The other woman snatches away the cup and smashes it against the floor. This represents the unexpected cruelty of life, and the contradictory nature of female friendships. - - - - Scene 2: Cabeza de Dios Two men are sitting on an ugly couch. They are staring into empty space the way most people stare into a television. Suddenly, one of them leans over and kisses the other on the forehead. He returns to his former pose as the other smiles and touches his forehead wonderingly. This represents the tenderness that lies beneath the stoic surface of male friendships. - - - - Scene 3: La Permanente (les enfants, les enfants!) Two children are sitting on the floor. They are very cute. One is drawing with a black permanent marker on a pink sheet of paper. The other child, who happens to be more attractive, is staring intently at the aforementioned sheet of paper. The more attractive child looks away suddenly. The less attractive child takes advantage of this opportunity to scribble something on the pink sheet of paper. The cuter child looks back at the paper and cries out in horror. The less cute child holds up the paper in a menacing manner, revealing the word she has written upon it to the audience: the word is "bitch." This represents the early formation of gender roles, and explores the cuteness of children, and asks the question, how come little children can be so mean and scary? - - - - Scene 4: Ballet avec banane The two women from the first scene are again sitting at a table, only this time they are dressed as ballerinas. Instead of a cup of cappuccino, the first woman cradles in her hands a banana. She is gazing forlornly at the banana. The second woman's face is blank. The first woman puts the banana down and begins to cry. The second woman snatches the banana, peels it brutally, takes a large bite and spits it out on the ground. As soon as it hits the floor, the first woman ceases her sobbing and begins to laugh hysterically. This represents the conflicting feelings many women experience toward bananas; indeed, toward fruit of any kind. - - - - Scene 5: La vida cappuccino The two men are sitting at a table. One is crying, the other is laughing. A cup of cappuccino rests in the center of the table, untouched. This represents the helplessness men feel when confronted with cappuccino. - - - - Scene 6: La amor de las bananas (pour les enfants) The two children are back, this time sitting on the ugly couch. One of them is wearing the pink sign that says "bitch". The other one is eating a banana. When the banana is fully consumed, the second child tenderly leans over and kisses the "bitch" child. The bitch child does not react. This represents the wholehearted love children have for bananas, even while they are filled with confusion about their feelings toward each other. - - - - Scene 7: Finale (Les enfants sont la future, le couch est la finis) Two men are sitting at a table. One is drinking a cappuccino. He is dressed as a ballerina. The other is singing a song to a banana skin on the floor. The ballerina man suddenly picks up his cup and hurls it at the banana man. The banana man falls to the floor, and the ballerina man begins to slowly dance around him, first crooning softly but gradually shifting into the wild hoots and grunts of an ape. At the height of his hooting he slips on the banana peel and falls to the floor beside the banana man. The two children enter, skipping, and sit on top of the men. They begin to sing "Edelweiss" from The Sound of Music. One of them is crying, the other laughing. The two women crawl onstage. One is wearing the pink "bitch" sign. The other is dragging an ugly couch behind her. They both carry brooms and begin sweeping, clearing away the shards of the cappuccino cup. One of the women (not the one dragging the couch) picks up the banana skin, curious, and places it on her head. As soon as it is upon her head, the other woman sets the couch down. The couch is then forgotten. The floor now clean, the women move on to the men and children. However, their brooms are simply not strong enough to sweep them off-stage. In frustration the women abandon their sweeping. They begin to gallop around, pretending the broomsticks are horses, and the children soon join in, hooting and hollering, and then the men awake from their coma and join in the melee. At the peak of the hubbub, everyone freezes in place, staring into space the way most people stare into television sets. They remain motionless as pink confetti falls from the sky. The lights go down, leaving a spotlight on the ugly couch. Finis
OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES:
Remember When? A Collection of 1980s References Without Context or Meaning By Mike Sacks Beyond American Pie: Interpreting Symbolism and Allegory in the Other Songs of Don McLean By Kevin Guilfoile The New Netiquette By Rachel Carpenter The Sky By Amy Halloran History's Great Persons Reconsidered By Tim Carvell |
Red dot denotes content that is new today.
Black dot denotes newish content.