- - - -

Dave Eggers' The Wild Things is available for preorder, in regular hardcover and
limited-edition fur-covered.

- - - -

S P E C I A L   C O L L E C T I O N S : T H E   K E N N Y   R O G E R S    N O T E B O O K S ,   1 9 7 5 - 1 9 7 7 . BY ERIC McHENRY - - - - 1-9-75 "The Sidewalk Caricature Artist" He said, "Son, I've made my life Out of readin' people's faces, And then drawin' funny likenesses With certain features oversized. And if you don't mind me sayin', I can see you're wearin' braces, And you'd better keep your mouth shut Unless you want 'em emphasized." - - - - 2-12-75 "The Spot-Welder" You got to know when to spot-weld, Know when to not weld... - - - - 2-13-75 "The Court Reporter" You got to know when to court 'em, Know when to report 'em... - - - - 3-19-75 "The Vending Machine Guy" You got to know when to stock it, Know when to lock it, Know when it's not plugged in And when it's out of order. If the coin chute is obstructed, There's a likely explanation: Someone thought one of those lady-head Dollar coins was a quarter. - - - - 5-07-75 "The Editor" You got to know when to edit, Know when to stet it, Know what's Chicago style, Know what's AP. You never cut the hyphen From a compound modifier, Except when the first word is "very" Or an adverb ending in "ly". - - - - 8-18-75 "The Interpreter" You got to know a second language... - - - - 1-01-76 "The Campaign Volunteer" You got to know when to fold 'em... - - - - 4-03-76 "The Cooper" "The Cobbler" "The Liturgist" - - - - 6-06-76 "The Breeder" You got to know how to mate 'em, When to separate 'em, Know when the offspring Are big enough to touch. You shouldn't try to count 'em When they're lyin' in a pile, There'll be time enough for countin' When you clean the hutch. - - - - 7-28-76 "The Cockatiel" "Johnny Carson" - - - - 9-21-76 "The Mumbler" You got to go gettle semmem... - - - - 9-29-76 "The Delivery Driver" You got to know the entire city well, Know the county pretty well... - - - - 12-31-76 "The Guy Who'd Been on Jeopardy!" You got to know the book of Genesis, Know some Famous Dennises, Know Potent Potables, Know New York Mayors. You shouldn't make little comments When you're running a category. There'll be time enough for bullshit When we meet the players. - - - - 1-05-77 And somewhere in the darkness, The cold-caller, he broke even, But with my trial subscription came A clock that I could keep.     OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES: - - - - Helpful Advice By Philip Ryan The Dark Goddess of Russia Is Horny By Neal Pollack Welcome to Amy Fusselman and Her Book, "The Pharmacist's Mate" Wilderness Survival Guide By Peter Ferland Kurt Luchs Inspects Iraq By Kurt Luchs

- - - - MAIN PAGE | ARCHIVES Memories of Amanda Davis Red dot denotes content that is new today. Black dot denotes newish content. McSWEENEY'S STORE SUBSCRIBE TO: McSWEENEY'S THE BELIEVER WHOLPHIN FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE THE BEST AMERICAN NONREQUIRED READING McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST BOOKSTORES WITH A McSWEENEY'S DISPLAY McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: FOR BOOKS FOR THE QUARTERLY FOR THE WEBSITE FOR WHOLPHIN McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS CONTACT US - - - - LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S LISTS McSWEENEY'S PREDICTS McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS NEW WHOLPHIN FILM DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST TEDDY WAYNE'S UNPOPULAR PROVERBS REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD DISPATCHES FROM MANILA DISPATCHES FROM MOSCOW AND HERE'S THE KICKER: MIKE SACKS'S CONVERSATIONS WITH HUMOR WRITERS SARAH WALKER SHOWS YOU HOW DISPATCHES FROM AN ENVIRONMENTAL LAWYER WHO IS TRYING TO GROW A MUSTACHE DISPATCHES FROM A HANGDOG BANKRUPT DISPATCHES FROM THE ANACOSTIA DISPATCHES FROM THE CAPITAL DISPATCHES FROM INDIA THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELEBRITY MUSICALS SEAN MICHAELS LISTENS TO MUSIC IN MONTREAL SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES KIDS' LETTERS TO PRESIDENT OBAMA STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE DISPATCHES FROM THE WINGS AT THE BALLET YOUR MONEY, YOUR JOB ... YOUR LIFE, WITH ALISON ROSEN KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE LAWRENCE WESCHLER'S EVERYTHING THAT RISES: A BOOK OF CONVERGENCES THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST ABOUT THE CONVALESCENT ABOUT GOD SAYS NO ABOUT UNDERGROUND AMERICA ABOUT THANKS AND HAVE FUN RUNNING THE COUNTRY LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY DISPATCHES FROM ADJUNCT FACULTY AT A LARGE STATE UNIVERSITY E-MAILS SENT TO THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA ENGLISH DEPARTMENT FLAG-FOOTBALL TEAM ADVICE FROM A PERSON WITH A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS FLIP: A COLUMN ABOUT SKATEBOARDING OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY DAN KENNEDY SOLVES YOUR PROBLEMS WITH PAPER STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT - - - - ADDITIONAL MATERIAL