[Read Declarations from "The Boy Scout Handbook."]
ALL OUT FOR SCOUTING! Yes, it's fun to be a Boy Scout! So pitch in! Swing into action! The best patrol in the troop — you're part of it! Come on, let's go! You are ready to go! You'd better be! All right! To camp! Some of these trees are more than 4,000 years old! To camp! There's a world that's filled with adventure for every real boy! There's something to look forward to! Camp stands for freedom, fun, and adventure! To camp! To camp! - - - - Keep the edge sharp — not just sharp enough for it to chew, but sharp enough to bite! If you can't snap it, scrap it! There it is! Here's your chance for an education — take it! JUMP TO THE JOB! Now stalk up close to it! Up and after it! Off at a gallop! Kill it COLD OUT! Do it and get it over with! Be quick — but think clearly! Great! Lunch, everybody! Come and get it! The patrol cooks are doing themselves proud! Not a moment too soon! You're positively starving! That's eating! - - - - There's the call for swim! Come on in — the water's fine! White water canoeing will be your greatest thrill! All out! Hurry now! Watch your step! Hurray for your patrol! LOST! Careful now! Think! Look! Soon there'll be smoke, fire — success! Listen! Stop! Buddy up! It might as well be you! Salute! Campfire! Imagine having the insides of your lungs tarred up! Happy dreams! Good-bye!
OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES:
Apocalypse Now and Then Some By Neal Pollack Odd Occurrences: An Interview with Robert Pastorek, a Professional Symphony Musician, Part Two By Whitney Pastorek Odd Occurrences: An Interview with Robert Pastorek, a Professional Symphony Musician, Part One By Whitney Pastorek Cocoon By Christina Nunez Declarations from "The Boy Scout Handbook" By Matthew Lusk |
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