W H A T   W O M E N W A N T . BY DAN KENNEDY - - - - Anna, 25, Actress and Model. Seattle, Washington. Me: So I'm writing this thing for a magazine... and, you know... I need to write about what it is that women want, um... Anna: In bed? Me: Oh, my God! You don't have to come right out and say it! God. - - - - Maria, 28, Filmmaker. Brooklyn, New York. Me: Okay, well... can you, uh, tell me a little bit about how you, um, like men to make love to you? Maria: Have you been drinking? Me: What! It's ten a.m. here. This is for a magazine thing I'm trying to write. - - - - Julie, 27, Personal Trainer. San Francisco, California. Me: Okay, let's see I'm working on this piece and I need you to tell me how you like to be turned on. Julie: This is Steve. Julie's out right now. Who is this? Me: ... Steve: Hello? - - - - Kim, 29, Designer. New York, New York. Me: I need to ask you about... Kim: Maria told me you were calling people drunk and asking them questions about sex. Me: What? That's a complete lie. Kim: What were you going to ask me then? Me: About... Hey, why does she think I'm drunk? Just because I'm asking about sex? This is for a magazine article. Kim: Since when do you write for a magazine? - - - - Nicole, 31, Waitress. Seattle, Washington. Me: I'm supposed to find out about women... and... what they want in bed. Nicole: All of that will make sense when the time is right, Dan. Me: What? Nicole: Don't stress about it. You'll know when you're supposed to know. Me: No, I mean I need to find out for a magazine article. Nicole: Uh huh. What magazine? Me: It's for a magazine. A very popular one. A monthly one. Nicole: Oh, uh huh. Me: Whatever.     OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES: - - - - What to Do on October 30 By Sarah Manguso The Name Game By Stephany Aulenback and Sean Carman Lydia Davis Week Reader Responses Lydia Davis Week Day Four Lydia Davis Week Day Three

- - - - MAIN PAGE   |   ARCHIVES   Memories of Amanda Davis   Red dot denotes content that is new today. Black dot denotes newish content. McSWEENEY'S STORE SUBSCRIBE TO: McSWEENEY'S THE BELIEVER WHOLPHIN FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: FOR BOOKS FOR THE QUARTERLY FOR THE WEBSITE FOR WHOLPHIN McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS CONTACT US - - - - LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S LISTS McSWEENEY'S PREDICTS McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS NEW WHOLPHIN FILM DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST JOKES BY BRIAN BEATTY REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD DISPATCHES FROM MOSCOW SO YOU WANT TO BE PRESIDENT? DISPATCHES FROM THE ANACOSTIA THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELEBRITY MUSICALS DISPATCHES FROM A HUMANITARIAN JOURNALIST DISPATCHES FROM IRAQ SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES PHILIP GRAHAM SPENDS A YEAR IN LISBON STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE DISPATCHES FROM THE NAPOLEONIC WARS AT THE MET KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE SONGS OF ENEMIES AND DESERTS: LIVING WITH THE SUDAN LIBERATION ARMY LAWRENCE WESCHLER'S EVERYTHING THAT RISES: A BOOK OF CONVERGENCES THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST ABOUT WHAT IS THE WHAT ABOUT BOWL OF CHERRIES ABOUT COMEDY BY THE NUMBERS ABOUT JOHN BRANDON'S ARKANSAS ABOUT MICHAEL CHABON'S MAPS AND LEGENDS LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY DISPATCHES FROM ADJUNCT FACULTY AT A LARGE STATE UNIVERSITY ADVICE FROM A PERSON WITH A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY DISPATCHES FROM THE NBA ENTERTAINMENT LEAGUE JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES B.R. COHEN'S ANNALS OF SCIENCE INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY DISPATCHES FROM ROY KESEY, AN AMERICAN GUY MARRIED TO A PERUVIAN DIPLOMAT LIVING IN CHINA STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT - - - - ADDITIONAL MATERIAL