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Now available for preorder:
The San Francisco Panorama.

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I N   2 1 0 1 : T H R E E   S T O R I E S   B Y Y O U N G   P E O P L E . BY ZACH EJUONE, MEGHAN LYDEN, AND SAM BRADFORD - - - - [The authors of these stories are students in writing classes taught by Michael Szpakowski. They are between the ages of eight and eleven, and attend Martin's Wood School, Meriden School, and Grange School, in Hertfordshire, UK. They were responding to an assignment called "In a Hundred Years."] - - - - THE DOG WHO DID NOT DIE There was a beautiful dog with long silky fur. It did not moult or die because of a mechanical metal switch. It is a brilliant machine to have. Or you could clone brains that you can stick in jars, or little elves that run round your ankles and leprechauns nick your chocolate, car keys and your cat. - - - - IN 2101 You could be old or you could be young and if you are young you could be pregnant, if you are old you could be diabetic. If you did something underground you could find dead people. If you live in a creaking house made out of glass it could be haunted and birds could be pecking on the creepy haunted house when it's dark. Suddenly there was a creak coming from the glass and a bit of glass smashed on the bed and hurt someone and they heard something coming from up in the sky and it was a flying sofa and a flying saucepan over the house. - - - - I WISH I wish dinosaurs would come back to life. I wish a robot that looks like you would go to school for you. I wish there was less school, more fun (cause that is a good thing). I wish there was Sumo wrestling for English people. I wish there was no adults in the world. I wish there was more cinemas in Hertfordshire. I wish there was no one to tell you what to do. I wish there was stunt bikes for younger children. I wish there were no wars. I wish there were no illness. I wish there was more medicine. I wish there was something to bring people back to life. I wish there was something to make you not sad. I wish there was no diseases in the world. I wish there was no fighting ever in the world. I wish everyone was happy.     OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES: - - - - Horrible Child By Lawrence Krauser Several Failed Attempts to Explain Quantum Entanglement By Paul Maliszewski It's Actually Not a Small World By Tom Ruprecht Conversations with Hockney By Jessica Francis Kane Overheard Cell Phone Conversations in Which Movies of the 1980s Were Mentioned By A.S. Hamrah

- - - - MAIN PAGE | ARCHIVES Memories of Amanda Davis Red dot denotes content that is new today. Black dot denotes newish content. McSWEENEY'S STORE SUBSCRIBE TO: McSWEENEY'S THE BELIEVER WHOLPHIN FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE THE BEST AMERICAN NONREQUIRED READING McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST BOOKSTORES WITH A McSWEENEY'S DISPLAY McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: FOR BOOKS FOR THE QUARTERLY FOR THE WEBSITE FOR WHOLPHIN McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS CONTACT US - - - - LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S LISTS McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD NEW WHOLPHIN FILM DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST TEDDY WAYNE'S UNPOPULAR PROVERBS NON-ESSENTIAL MNEMONICS BITCHSLAP: A COLUMN ABOUT WOMEN AND FIGHTING DISPATCHES FROM A GUY TRYING UNSUCCESSFULLY TO SELL A SONG IN NASHVILLE GLOBAL WAR ON BEDBUGS: LETTERS FROM BEDBUG CITY THE CONFLICTED EXISTENCE OF A FEMALE PORN WRITER OH MY GAWD: A COLUMN ABOUT A TEENAGER NAVIGATING RELIGION DISPATCHES FROM MANILA DISPATCHES FROM AN INDIAN CASINO THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST CHRIS WHITE ANSWERS PROFOUND QUESTIONS ABOUT THE PRESIDENTS REPORTS FROM THE PINBALL SCENE LETTERS FROM THE HELLBOX NOTES FROM AN AMATEUR SPECTATOR AT AMATEUR MIXED MARTIAL ARTS FIGHTS B.R. COHEN'S DAYS AT THE MUSEUM CONVERSATIONS AT A WARTIME CAFÉ AND HERE'S THE KICKER: MIKE SACKS'S CONVERSATIONS WITH HUMOR WRITERS GRANT MUNROE'S CORPORATE FOLKTALES SARAH WALKER SHOWS YOU HOW DISPATCHES FROM AN ENVIRONMENTAL LAWYER WHO IS TRYING TO GROW A MUSTACHE DISPATCHES FROM A HANGDOG BANKRUPT DISPATCHES FROM THE CAPITAL DISPATCHES FROM INDIA THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL SEAN MICHAELS LISTENS TO MUSIC IN MONTREAL SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES KIDS' LETTERS TO PRESIDENT OBAMA STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE YOUR MONEY, YOUR JOB ... YOUR LIFE, WITH ALISON ROSEN KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE ABOUT THE WILD THINGS ABOUT THE CONVALESCENT ABOUT FEVER CHART ABOUT GOD SAYS NO ABOUT ZEITOUN LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY E-MAILS SENT TO THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA ENGLISH DEPARTMENT FLAG-FOOTBALL TEAM TRAVELING EUROPE IN STYLE WITH AUCKLAND DINGIROO, DARK-AGE TOURIST AND CRITIC OF FOOD AND DRINK JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS FLIP: A COLUMN ABOUT SKATEBOARDING OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY DAN KENNEDY SOLVES YOUR PROBLEMS WITH PAPER STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT - - - - ADDITIONAL MATERIAL