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Just in time for Valentine's Day,
the Guardian in London has
reviewed and raved about
The Secret Language of Sleep.
And, for the rest of the week,
you can buy it for $5!
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qanuk: n., snowflake. qanir: v., to snow. qanunge: v., to snow in July, taking the sunbathers off guard. qanugglir: v., to snow in the front yard, but not the back. kaneq: n., brown snow. kaner: n., more like a brownish-yellow snow, though we can't be sure, so check back later, okay? kanevvluk: n., snow in a fondue pot, halfway melted. kanevcir: v., to place snow in a fondue pot, halfway melt it, then show it to your expectant dinner guests and bask in their compliments. natquik: n., snow that is rolled into a ball and hurled at the house of one's enemy. natquivigte: v., to hurl snow at the house of one's enemy and miss, accidentally hitting the house of one's friend. nevluk: n., snow that, in the words of Rousseau, hasn't gotten the message yet. nevlugte: n., snow that got the message loud and clear, but chooses to ignore it. aniu: n., snow on a clown. aniuu: n., snow on a sad clown with a horn. apun: n., snow on a Catskills comic; also, snow along the roofline of a barn. qanikcaq: n., snow sculpted into the shape of a Bartlett pear. qanikcir: n., Bartlett pear-shaped snow sculpture rolling down the mountain, destroying everything in its path. muruaneq: n., snow and ice shards lodged in the buttocks of one's enemy, the one whose house you keep managing to miss with your natquik, four eyes. qetrar: n., snow that appears frequently as a contestant on gameshows. qerretrar: n., gameshow-appearing snow that wins the couch and the washer/dryer combo deal, but chokes when it comes to the car. nutaryuk: n., dancing snow, so nimble, so happy. qanisqineq: n., snow over the Guggenheim Museum; also, unhappy snow. piretepag: n., heavy snow that falls in one's dream. I had this weird dream once where I crammed the piretepag down the throat of my enemy, sealed the enemy in an ice coffin, and buried him in a location where the authorities are not likely to look. qengaruk: n., snow that warns of blight, but then hotfoots around the corner, where frost and hail are waiting, all giggling conspiratorially. Snow says, "I just warned some stupid-ass Inuit about blight, and now he's running around in a panic, collecting whale blubber." Frost says, "He doesn't even know what blight is." Hail says, "This is so typical. This is all so typical, but funny nonetheless." utvak: n., a glacier on holiday. navcaq: n., neurotic snow, which falls to earth, feels uncertain about resting on the ground, and leaps back into the sky, where it clings to the nearest cloud, crying and crying. navcite: n., snow which looks, smells, and tastes like a hot dog; also, a hot dog. pirta: n., two snowflakes that look exactly alike, but keep it to themselves. pircir: n., the third flake, who sells compromising photographs of the two identical flakes to the highest-paying tabloid. pirtuk: n., the fourth flake, who wearily reads of the antics of the first three while waiting in line at the grocery store. cellallir: n., snow imprisoned in a cone and doused with sugary liquids, always without the snow's consent, you ever stop and think about that, mister? pirrelvag: n., gift snow, presented to a loved one on the special day, often molded into the shape of a caboose, but sometimes a swan will do just fine.
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