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A   W O R K P L A C E P L A Y . BY SARAH FISCH - - - - [Phone rings.] Sarah: Good morning, Discreet. Woman: Yeah, is Britches there? Sarah: I'm sorry... Bridget? Woman: Uh-huh. She there? Sarah: No, sorry, we don't have a Bridget. Woman: [after a beat] Who? Sarah: Ma'am? Woman: Who y'all don't got? Sarah: Bridget. Woman: [Affably] Aww, no, not Bridget, Britches! Britches! Sarah: Britches? Britches, like pants, britches? Woman: Yeah! Britches! Britches there? Sarah: No, sorry. Woman: Where'd she go? Sarah: No, no, I mean, I'm sorry, we don't have a Britches either, you must have the wrong number. Woman: Oh. Sarah: Yeah, sorry. Woman: You got Britches' phone number? [Pause.] Sarah: No, I'm afraid not. Woman: (Softly) Oh.     OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES: - - - - On Photographing the World Trade Center Site, An Interview with Joel Meyerowitz By Erika Kawalek Bob Ross Paints a Familiar Picture By Dan Kennedy Necessity Is the Mother of Invention By Stephany Aulenback The Demonstration By Eric Nolan Whatever Is Will Be Unsigned By Paul Maliszewski

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