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Millard Kaufman's final novel has arrived!
Pick up Misadventure now—or, see what
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both Bowl of Cherries and Misadventure
for 27% off the retail price.
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- - - - Sitting at a meeting at work, your thoughts wander and you find yourself drawing... drawing little pictures and designs. Doodling is an expression of your unconscious mind, and often doodles express subconscious thoughts and desires. Some psychiatrists even use doodles to help analyze their patients. If you find yourself doodling, maybe your doodles are one of these: A cube in three dimensions indicates your office needs a new coat of paint. I deliberated long and hard before choosing a soft gray tone (Benjamin Moore No. 1542, formerly called Dove Gray). A set of stairs means you awoke this morning and found something different about your neighbors. They look human except for a few details like their heads are notched and there is a pronounced tag on their chins. Magic spoons and icicles show an interest in others, especially in the opposite sex. You want to be popular and physically attractive. Cigars and bananas symbolize a desire to have foreign-currency exchange rates explained to you. No-nonsense, you are a strong and honest individual. Meat tenderizer and bottles of Drambuie demonstrate ambition and a sense of direction. You know what you want and how to get it. Shoes made from particleboard and the part-time stylist at Talbot's, however, show confusion and a negative self-image. Pictures of you smothering your roommate with a pillow while she's asleep show a strong sense of self-worth. Slightly egotistical, you are outgoing and have a good sense of humor. If you find yourself doodling naked women, stars, faces, arrows, ladders, or your own name, you're probably a bed-wetter. By the way, get a checkup. You may have cancer of the liver, pal. Now flip back through your old notes and see what they have to say about you.
OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES:
This Office Is Different By John Leary A Workplace Play By Sarah Fisch On Photographing the World Trade Center Site, An Interview with Joel Meyerowitz By Erika Kawalek Bob Ross Paints a Familiar Picture By Dan Kennedy Necessity Is the Mother of Invention By Stephany Aulenback |
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