Timothy McSweeney's Header Image

We're giving away books this holiday season. Click here to learn more about our very special holiday deal.

- - - -

A N   E D I T O R ' S
E N T H U S I A S T I C   R E S P O N S E   T O
A   F A N ' S   S U G G E S T I O N S   F O R
H I T   P A R A D E R   M A G A Z I N E ,
J U N E   1 9 8 4 .


BY ADAM UNDERHILL


- - - -

Dear Mr. Fawcett:

I would like to extend my thanks for the thoughtful and heartfelt suggestions you expressed in your April 29th letter to Hit Parader. Because the success of our publication depends on the satisfaction of you, the reader, we are always open to your comments and/or constructive criticism so that we may provide for you the best coverage in rock journalism. We feel it's the least we can do for somebody who is willing to spend his hard-earned $2.50 on us every month.

By this token I am pleased to inform you that the editorial board at Hit Parader has enthusiastically embraced your suggestion, as expressed in your letter, that we re-name our publication "Shit Parader." In fact, the resolution passed in a unanimous vote following the presentation of your letter in a meeting on June 11th. The editors, myself included, simply could not disagree with your astute and brutally honest arguments, including:

It's okay for a metal mag to show pictures of rock stars in tight pants, but how many times do I have to look at Dee Snider's package through a piece of spandex?

All this punk bullshit has got to go. You're a magazine for metalheads, not limey pink-haired fruits. Less Ramones and more Priest, man!

Frankie Sanchez of Fresno wrote last month that Def Leppard were rock gods. Well, I got news for you, Frankie: Iron Maiden rocks ten times harder, and Bruce Dickinson would whip all those Leppard wusses at the same time, if he felt like it.

The band is called Van Halen, not Roth. Can I get a little more coverage of the guys who play the instruments and a little less of Mr. Pretty Boy?

What's with all this Journey crap? Yeah, that's hard rock. How about putting some articles about Boxcar Willie in your next issue?

Indeed, these were all valid points and were taken into consideration. But the editorial board felt that more than a few minor adjustments were necessary, and we decided that your closing idea — suggesting that we change the title of the magazine to "Shit Parader" — was the one that would result in the most positive change.

Therefore, I am pleased to announce that our September issue (featuring Gene Simmons from KISS) will be sold on newsstands across the country under the title Shit Parader. I will provide an explanation to readers in my column, in which I will pay tribute to your visionary ideas and thank you again for your suggestions. A free issue will be mailed to you.

I wish you many years of success and hope you continue to rock and read.

Best Wishes,

David Hash
Editor-in-Chief

 

 

OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES:
- - - -


Footboy By William Walsh
Helpful Sayings By Stephany Aulenback
I Like Dancing Real Slow By Jeff Johnson
Không By Todd Pruzan
Prank Calling My Friends Using The "Arnold Schwarzenegger Soundboard" Computer Program By Tim Cassedy-Blum

- - - -

MAIN PAGE   |   ARCHIVES

 

Memories of Amanda Davis

 


Red dot denotes content that is new today.

Black dot denotes newish content.

McSWEENEY'S STORE

SUBSCRIBE TO:
McSWEENEY'S
THE BELIEVER
WHOLPHIN

FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS

THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD

INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE

THE BEST AMERICAN NONREQUIRED READING

McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST

McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES

ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES

SUBMISSION GUIDELINES:
FOR BOOKS
FOR THE QUARTERLY
FOR THE WEBSITE
FOR WHOLPHIN

McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS

CONTACT US

- - - -

LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S

LISTS

McSWEENEY'S PREDICTS

McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS

NEW WHOLPHIN FILM

DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST

JOKES BY BRIAN BEATTY

REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD

DISPATCHES FROM MANILA

DISPATCHES FROM MOSCOW

SO YOU WANT TO BE PRESIDENT?

DISPATCHES FROM THE ANACOSTIA

THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL

BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELEBRITY MUSICALS

DISPATCHES FROM A HUMANITARIAN JOURNALIST

SEAN MICHAELS LISTENS TO MUSIC IN MONTREAL

DEB OLIN UNFERTH'S SICK OF THE REVOLUTION

DISPATCHES FROM IRAQ

SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES

PHILIP GRAHAM SPENDS A YEAR IN LISBON

STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE

DISPATCHES FROM THE NAPOLEONIC WARS AT THE MET

KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE

SONGS OF ENEMIES AND DESERTS: LIVING WITH THE SUDAN LIBERATION ARMY

LAWRENCE WESCHLER'S EVERYTHING THAT RISES: A BOOK OF CONVERGENCES

THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST

ABOUT WHAT IS THE WHAT

ABOUT BOWL OF CHERRIES

ABOUT COMEDY BY THE NUMBERS

ABOUT JOHN BRANDON'S ARKANSAS

ABOUT MICHAEL CHABON'S MAPS AND LEGENDS

ABOUT UNDERGROUND AMERICA

ABOUT DEB OLIN UNFERTH'S VACATION

LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY

DISPATCHES FROM ADJUNCT FACULTY AT A LARGE STATE UNIVERSITY

ADVICE FROM A PERSON WITH A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY

DISPATCHES FROM THE NBA ENTERTAINMENT LEAGUE

JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES

B.R. COHEN'S ANNALS OF SCIENCE

INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS

OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND

DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN

MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY

DISPATCHES FROM ROY KESEY, AN AMERICAN GUY MARRIED TO
A PERUVIAN DIPLOMAT LIVING IN CHINA


DAN KENNEDY SOLVES YOUR PROBLEMS WITH PAPER

STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT

- - - -

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL