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Dave Eggers' The Wild Things is available for preorder, in regular hardcover and
limited-edition fur-covered.
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- - - - Quote "The raw-vital reverse-spin funk thrill of jeans" is how Tom Wolfe once celebrated denim. - - - - Fugitive Pope Why is the Pope upset? While washing dishes at a retreat for priests, he stumbled upon them watching a porno movie. What would make the Pope happy? If priests realized a clean soul is like a clean plate: you can see yourself in it. Failing this: paper plates. - - - - Knife-Thrower As a knife-thrower who performs with my wife in the circus, I never get a chance to relax. At work, I'm tense about stuff at home. At home, I'm tense about stuff at work. - - - - Idea for a Movie Mike Topp: You know what would make a good movie? Something about a king who has 300 wives, but inside he's real sad. Mike Topp's friend: What makes him sad? Mike Topp: Maybe we'll never know. You know what I mean? - - - - My Pet I don't have a pet. If I could have one, I would like a troll. I would name my troll Kevin. The thing I would most enjoy doing with Kevin is watching him have sex with other trolls. - - - - Dishwasher The Yupik Eskimo word for dishwasher is eruurivik. - - - - Another Idea for a Movie Mike Topp: You know what would make a good movie? Something about a king who has 300 wives, but inside he's real sad. Mike Topp's other friend: What makes him sad? Mike Topp: He thought he was slipping into his forties very gracefully, but — to make a long story short — evidently not. - - - - The Ten Greatest Books of 1976 Adam: San Francisco's Greatest Poet/Vet - - - - Third Idea for a Movie Mike Topp: You know that movie I said I was going to make about the king who has 300 wives, but inside he's real sad? Mike Topp's first friend: Yeah, you finally figure out what makes him sad? Mike Topp: We build to that, you see. At first you think he's sad because his throne is cold, then you think it's because of all the knights just hanging around and staring at him, looking to him for something to do. But then, one night, the king has this dream where he's outside a window looking at a kid eating a TV dinner and the kid's parents aren't around, he's just eating and he's all alone, the kid is ALL ALONE, you know? - - - - Class of '76 Okay, this girl has just picked up a homeless guy, and she's convinced he's Charles Bukowski. But he's not.
OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES:
AC/DC: The Board Meeting By John Kenyon The Checkout Girl, An Interview with Rose Gowen, on the Business of Groceries, Part One By Rose Gowen It Could Happen to You By Stephany Aulenback More Cases from the Files of Traig & McGrath, Shut-In Detectives By Jenny Traig and Peter McGrath Samson By Michael Stein |
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