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Darin Strauss' Half a Life,
a nakedly honest, ultimately hopeful
examination of guilt, responsibility, and
living with the past, is getting rave reviews. To mark
the occasion, get your copy today
at a reduced price.

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C O N V E R S A T I O N   B E T W E E N
T W O   P E O P L E .


BY STEPHANY AULENBACK


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This sentence says she is boring. This sentence is short. This sentence contains almost no useful information.

This sentence says he is interesting. This sentence is a little longer but not too long.

This sentence says she is appealing. This sentence says she may be rather dimwitted. This sentence is somewhat difficult to take. This sentence is uncertain.

This sentence says he is somewhat interesting. This sentence says he is extremely interesting. This sentence is a good sign.

This sentence says that she is actually quite intellectually stimulating. This sentence is easy to like. This sentence is an improvement.

This sentence says he is perhaps somewhat vain. This sentence is difficult to interpret.

This sentence says she may have an unpleasant disposition. This sentence is hard to believe. This sentence is completely unnecessary. This sentence may be true. This sentence is insistent. This sentence says pay no attention to this sentence.

This sentence says he is daring. This sentence says he is intelligent. This sentence says he is well-read. This sentence is a good sign. This sentence is a better sign. So is this one.

This sentence says not only is she remarkably attractive, she is also quite witty and charming. This sentence is a pleasure. This sentence says she is undoubtedly charming. This sentence says she is bright. This sentence says she is kind. This sentence is also a pleasure. And this one. And this one.

This sentence says nothing. This sentence says nothing, too, but in a fascinating way. This sentence says too much. This sentence says very little. This sentence reveals even less.

This sentence says it's time to go. This sentence says do you want to come, too? This sentence says everything. This sentence says maybe it doesn't.

This sentence says perhaps another time. This sentence is regretful. This sentence is a little detached. This sentence says wait and see.

This sentence says call me. This sentence may be insincere.

This sentence says sure. This sentence may be untrue.

This sentence is a relief.

 

 

OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES:
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Issue No. 9 Is On Its Way to You
My Beard, Reviewed By Chris Bachelder
Potemkin's Empress By Michael Stein
Drug Test By James Wagner
That Was a Fine Draft, Coach By Jeff Johnson

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MAIN PAGE | ARCHIVES

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YOUR MONEY, YOUR JOB ... YOUR LIFE, WITH ALISON ROSEN

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TRAVELING EUROPE IN STYLE WITH AUCKLAND DINGIROO,
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JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES

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ABOUT THE INSTRUCTIONS

< ABOUT HALF A LIFE

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ABOUT MISADVENTURE

ABOUT BINKY BROWN MEETS THE HOLY VIRGIN MARY

ABOUT THE CLOCK WITHOUT A FACE

ABOUT A VERY BAD WIZARD

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