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Now available for preorder:
The San Francisco Panorama.
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- - - - 21 September 2002 Teresa A. Bonny, Pir.D.
re: Your comments in the Journal of International Buccaneering (J.I.B.) Ahoy Dean Bonny: This missive is intended to officially protest certain statements ye made recently in an interview given to the Journal of International Buccaneering (J.I.B.) during the doldrums of this year. While I was captivated by your insightful analysis of the effects of Monsoon season on Indonesian pillaging returns, which, as always, was a refreshingly cogent discussion of contemporary Macropiratic theory, your skullduggerous slandering (below) of the First Mate's Institute of Technology was inexplicably antagonistic as well as plainly inaccurate: J.I.B.: Has there been any progress with respect to a matey-exchange program with the First Matešs Institute of Technology? Shiver me timbers! It is no secret that the institution ye lead is rightly esteemed far superior to our salty technical college, but such blatant disrespect for FMIT is plainly unconscionable. I need not point out that the Humanistic Order of Oceanic Knavery, governing body of the Modern Association of Swashbuckling Theory (on the board of which ye sit), fully accredited FMIT to award Bachelor's and Master's degrees in High Seas Piracy in 1728. The Institute's School of Swabbing was further accredited to award a Master's degree in 1807. First among the many noted Seaworthy First Mates to venture forth from our halls is the loyal Mr. Smee. We also embark upon important academic research in Advanced Piracy here at FMIT. As ye know, I recently have had the good fortune to be recognized with the HOOK's prestigious Chest O'Booty for me work on the ethics of mutiny. These representative, though by no means comprehensive, credentials suffice to refute the academic keelhauling FMIT received from ye in the pages of the J.I.B. What remains a mystery is why ye should choose to lash us to the mizzenmast of academic discourse and flay us with the cat-o'nine-tails of your contempt. I can only hope that ye will uphold pirate honor and recant your dastardly disparagings; else I expect ye will deservedly be marooned amidst a general squall of academic opprobrium and intellectual disgrace, just as the once noble and lofty Captain Kidd met his end on the King's avenging gibbet: like a common, landlubbing ruffian. Do remember, as me hallowed ancestor, John Rackham, was wont to say, "Avast; every Sea-Dog buckles his swash one loop at a time." Very truly your matey,
P.S. I look forward to putting this unfortunate episode behind us and hefting a flagon of grog with ye at this year's Conference Corsairique Globale in Martinique, this February. cc. Dr. Robert J. Lafitte, Editor, Journal of International Buccaneering
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