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Now available for preorder:
The San Francisco Panorama.
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- - - - Dear Beth, Yesterday, when I went to the store, there was an old couple waiting for the bus. Or a ride. They looked just like your grandparents, so I thought I'd write you a letter. How are they doing? Are you having fun? You kind of rushed out of here, so I hope everything is okay. yours always,
P.S. Did you accidentally take my blue socks? I was doing laundry and I can't find them anywhere. Also, while washing your pants, I found a strange note in the back pocket. There was a phone number and a man's name. Did you cheat on me? Is that why you ran off? If you did, I can forgive you. But you have to tell me. - - - - Dear Beth, Did you ever notice how twenty-four hour stores always have locks on the doors? Ha! That rhymed! yours always,
P.S. So, you don't know where my socks are? And what about this cheating thing. I just want to know, honey. I'm just asking. Maybe you don't want to hurt my feelings. I can understand that. - - - - Dear Beth, I'm very worried about you. You haven't returned any of my letters. Do you want me to call? yours,
P.S. I found my socks, finally. They were in the dryer. I'm wearing them now. Look, about the cheating thing, it's all right. Really, it's fine. I should have been more understanding. Taken some time to listen to you, or whatever. I promise, I can be a better person.
OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES:
That Time When By Maggie Tucker Notes on Singapore's Lesser-Known Atrocities, Or, Simply, There Are Too Many John Travolta Movies By Carol Karimi and Sean Wilsey In My Humble Opinion, Part Three: That '70s Book By Kevin Sampsell The Pyramids by Guide By Julia Old Photo Album With Cherries By Renate Robertson |
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