P U N   A B O U T   D E A T H G O E S   H E R E F O R   T I T L E : A N   I N T E R V I E W W I T H   J I M   K E L L E R , G R O U N D S K E E P E R A T   T H E M A R Y S V I L L E C E M E T E R Y . BY DAN KENNEDY - - - - Q: So, you are the groundskeeper for this small-town cemetery in Marysville? Keller: [Confused as to why I am asking this in person, when I seemed to know this after talking to him twice on the phone to schedule this interview.] Q: Yes, you are. I'm asking for the tape recorder. Keller: [Hands me the tape recorder.] Q: No, I mean… for the record. Keller: This is for a record? Q: I mean I'm asking you that question for the record. Keller: This for the Internet, right? Q: The record just means like, you know, it's on file or whatever. It's, like, okay to print if you say it's on the record. But yeah, it's for a literary website. Keller: You mean helping kids read? Q: Sort of. I mean it's more adults than kids, really. Keller: An adult website? Q: No. It's uh, like, a writing website. Keller: I don't think death is good for a kid's website, and I think it's a little weird if it's for a porno thing. Q: Oh… yeah, I know. Okay. So, what's the strangest part of your job? Keller: Well, what do you think? It's a cemetery, so… that's the strangest thing about it. Q: Right, I just mean… Keller: That's like asking a prison warden, "What is unique about the place where you work, sir?" [Switches to "stupid guy" type of voice to answer his own question.] "Well, duhhhh… let's see. What's unique about the place where I work? Duhhh… it's a prison." Q: I know, I just mean… like, what's the… strangest part of your job, I guess? Keller: Okay, well… that's the strangest part. Q: Right. The strangest part is the cemetery part? Keller: Well, it's not the landscaping. A lot of people mow lawns. Q: Yeah. Keller: Q: Okay, well… Keller: I guess I'm just not sure what you want to know. Q: No, I know. I guess… just. Well, actually this is fine. Maybe I'll call you later if I think of something else. But, yeah. Okay. Thanks. Keller:     OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES: - - - - Unpublished Coda to Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird By Tim Carvell Please Remember to Suck Off His Finger with a High-Powered Vacuum, Part Two By Kevin Feeney Please Remember to Suck Off His Finger with a High-Powered Vacuum, Part One By Kevin Feeney Engulfed: A Dispatch from the Front By Zev Borow and Stephen Sherrill Paul Collins Week: Excerpt No. Two from Geoffrey Pyke's To Ruhleben — And Back, a New Title from the Collins Library Edited by Paul Collins

- - - - MAIN PAGE   |   ARCHIVES   Memories of Amanda Davis   Red dot denotes content that is new today. Black dot denotes newish content. McSWEENEY'S STORE SUBSCRIBE TO: McSWEENEY'S THE BELIEVER WHOLPHIN FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: FOR BOOKS FOR THE QUARTERLY FOR THE WEBSITE FOR WHOLPHIN McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS CONTACT US - - - - LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S LISTS McSWEENEY'S PREDICTS McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS NEW WHOLPHIN FILM DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST JOKES BY BRIAN BEATTY REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD DISPATCHES FROM MOSCOW SO YOU WANT TO BE PRESIDENT? DISPATCHES FROM THE ANACOSTIA THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELEBRITY MUSICALS DISPATCHES FROM A HUMANITARIAN JOURNALIST DISPATCHES FROM IRAQ SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES PHILIP GRAHAM SPENDS A YEAR IN LISBON STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE DISPATCHES FROM THE NAPOLEONIC WARS AT THE MET KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE SONGS OF ENEMIES AND DESERTS: LIVING WITH THE SUDAN LIBERATION ARMY LAWRENCE WESCHLER'S EVERYTHING THAT RISES: A BOOK OF CONVERGENCES THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST ABOUT WHAT IS THE WHAT ABOUT BOWL OF CHERRIES ABOUT COMEDY BY THE NUMBERS ABOUT JOHN BRANDON'S ARKANSAS ABOUT MICHAEL CHABON'S MAPS AND LEGENDS LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY DISPATCHES FROM ADJUNCT FACULTY AT A LARGE STATE UNIVERSITY ADVICE FROM A PERSON WITH A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY DISPATCHES FROM THE NBA ENTERTAINMENT LEAGUE JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES B.R. COHEN'S ANNALS OF SCIENCE INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY DISPATCHES FROM ROY KESEY, AN AMERICAN GUY MARRIED TO A PERUVIAN DIPLOMAT LIVING IN CHINA STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT - - - - ADDITIONAL MATERIAL