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Now available for preorder:
The San Francisco Panorama
.

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C L A S S   N O T E S
E N T R I E S
R E J E C T E D
B Y   M Y
A L U M N I
M A G A Z I N E .


BY MARTIN TANG


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Martin Tang is currently employed as a dental technician and rug doctor. He resides in the apartment where he was born, in Saratoga Springs, with his wife, Angelina Jolie, and their fourteen children. They live, happily.

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Last year, Martin Tang won a Nobel Prize for his outstanding achievements in the area of world peace. In his acceptance speech, Tang thanked Professor Joseph Bianco, whose tireless work "shall not go unnoticed."

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In April of this year, Martin Tang performed the christening of Rhonda (1992) and Patrick (1994) Teague's second child. What many of you may not know is that Tang is also the biological father. Thank you all for the lovely toys and brightly patterned jumpers.

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Martin Tang's latest one-man play, Walking and Talking and Bumping into Walls, co-starring Ethan Hawke, opens this summer at Essex Community Playhouse. Reserve your tickets now.

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Martin Tang is awesome.

 

 

OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES:
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A Bedtime Story By Mike Topp
Un______ By Michelle Orange
I Had This When I Came in Here By Jeff Johnson
Pun About Death Goes Here for Title: An Interview with Jim Keller, Groundskeeper at the Marysville Cemetery By Dan Kennedy
Unused Audio Commentary By Howard Zinn & Noam Chomsky for The Fellowship of the Ring, Part Two By Jeff Alexander and Tom Bissell
Unused Audio Commentary By Howard Zinn & Noam Chomsky for The Fellowship of the Ring, Part One By Jeff Alexander and Tom Bissell

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MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY

DAN KENNEDY SOLVES YOUR PROBLEMS WITH PAPER

STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT

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