Through this Friday, all available back issues of Wholphin are half off—10 bucks apiece for countless warm evenings of rare films, featuring Miranda July, Paul Rudd, Donald Trump, and a monkey-faced eel. - - - - |
- - - - CARPATHIAN STUDENTS' ASSOCIATION — Did you know there is a mountain range called the Carpathians? Pretty cool, huh? No longer just a footnote in German-Slovak history, the Carpathian people are experiencing a resurgence in ethnic pride. Ride the wave. What Crocodile Dundee did for Australia, we'll do for that vaguely defined Eastern European territory our people have intermittently occupied for centuries. Our first event is a traditional Carpathian dance, to be held on the last Friday of next month. We are also looking to elect association officers, particularly students who have seen or read about traditional Carpathian dancing. CARTAGENA SPRING BREAK TRIP — Sign up now for your chance to see this jewel of Colombia. Enjoy local cuisine, Caribbean beaches, and explore hundreds of years of Spanish colonial history. Experience tropical rainforests and exotic native wildlife. Ransom insurance available at a reasonable cost. Leave name and number at Student Union mailbox 105. CARTHAGINIAN STUDENTS' ASSOCIATION — Remember the glory days of old Carthage, 2,200 years ago, when being Carthaginian meant something? Hamilcar Barca and his boy Hannibal going head to head with the Romans in the Punic wars? Do you long for a night under a North African desert moon? Join some of the other 4–5 students of Phoenician and Tunisian backgrounds on campus the first Thursday of every month as we gather for a pot-luck couscous dinner. Note: Students from Carthage, Missouri, need not apply. CARTESIAN SOCIETY — Cogito ergo sum. I think therefore I am. I like philosophical discourse therefore I join the Cartesian Society. For those of you with a scholastic or vocational interest in philosopher and mathematician René Descartes (1596–1650), Wednesday nights at 7 in Room 215 of the Philosophy Department is where you want to be. Mind/body dualism, analytical geometry and vortices galore await you. Plus, at the end of the semester, we play laser tag against the Kant Klub. CARTOGRAPHY CLUB — Do you know where Carthage is? Both of them? How about the Carpathian Mountains? If so, and you aren't Carthaginian or Carpathian, and you like geography, why not come out and share your passion for mapmaking and map reading? We offer guest speakers and a full lending library of National Geographic. Geography Building, Room 3078, every second Monday, 8 p.m. The organizers of the spring break Cartagena, Colombia jungle tours are also looking for experienced cartographers, preferably ones with military survival training. CARTRIDGES FOR KIDS — We are a group of volunteers who recover spent shell casings from local shooting ranges, melt them down and re-cast them into toy soldiers for needy inner-city orphans. Help kids learn to respect themselves, Mother Nature, and Uncle Gunpowder. We meet Saturday mornings in the shooting range in the basement of the Fundamentalist Religious Studies Building. We need high-caliber people and we've got you in our sights!
OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES:
I Enjoy Taunting Insomniacs By Jason Roeder McSweeney's Brain Exploder: Celebrity Sex By Sean Carman Shakespeare's Interrogatories, Or Why He Wanted to Kill All the Lawyers By Mike Warner and Michael Pardo Stalking Gordon Willis By Chris McCoy Great Films of the Cinematic Canon: Reviewed By Pasha Malla |
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