You feel poor. We feel poor. Let's feel poor together. This week only, almost everything is half-price in our online store. Escape the holiday rush and cross every name off your list in one cheap swoop. - - - -

- - - - M O V I E S   D I R E C T E D   B Y M E L   G I B S O N ' S   F A T H E R , H U T T O N   G I B S O N BY LAURENCE HUGHES - - - - Schindler's Laundry List A German industrialist struggles to keep his dry cleaning from falling into Nazi hands, but doesn't fret about his Jewish employees because there is no Holocaust. Don't Shoot the Pianist A gifted young musician in Warsaw becomes a celebrated concert pianist. Fortunately his career is not interrupted by a Holocaust. Long Life is Beautiful A silly Italian waiter woos and wins a beautiful girl, and they have a son. The waiter proves to be a devoted husband and father. He proudly watches his son grow to manhood, then enjoys the blessings of grandchildren. They cherish every moment of their lives together because there is no Holocaust to prevent them from doing so. The Diaries of Anne Frank A woman records every intimate detail of her long, productive life in a personal journal, which runs to several volumes. Her account begins when she is a young girl in Amsterdam, where, by virtue of the fact that there is no Holocaust, she and her family live in spacious, comfortable surroundings. She falls in love, marries, becomes a successful writer, raises several children, and dies peacefully in her sleep at the age of 102. Poor Judgment at Nuremberg A war crimes tribunal convenes in Germany, but since there has been no Holocaust there is nothing for them to do. Court is adjourned and everyone goes to lunch. Holocaust "Nazis," the evil Master Race, attempt to annihilate "Jews" and other beings they deem "undesirable," in this wildly imaginative science fiction-fantasy tale set in a bizarre alternate universe.     OTHER McSWEENEY'S FEATURES: - - - - Open Letters to People or Entities Who Are Unlikely to Respond 20-Minute Stories Contest Honorable Mention Phabulous List Friday An Interview with the Repo Man By Suzanne Yeagley McSweeney's Brain Exploder Edited By Carlton Doby

- - - - MAIN PAGE   |   ARCHIVES   Memories of Amanda Davis   Red dot denotes content that is new today. Black dot denotes newish content. McSWEENEY'S STORE SUBSCRIBE TO: McSWEENEY'S THE BELIEVER WHOLPHIN FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE THE BEST AMERICAN NONREQUIRED READING McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: FOR BOOKS FOR THE QUARTERLY FOR THE WEBSITE FOR WHOLPHIN McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS CONTACT US - - - - LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S LISTS McSWEENEY'S PREDICTS McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS NEW WHOLPHIN FILM DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST JOKES BY BRIAN BEATTY REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD DISPATCHES FROM MANILA DISPATCHES FROM MOSCOW SO YOU WANT TO BE PRESIDENT? DISPATCHES FROM THE ANACOSTIA THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELEBRITY MUSICALS DISPATCHES FROM A HUMANITARIAN JOURNALIST DEB OLIN UNFERTH'S SICK OF THE REVOLUTION DISPATCHES FROM IRAQ SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES PHILIP GRAHAM SPENDS A YEAR IN LISBON STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE DISPATCHES FROM THE NAPOLEONIC WARS AT THE MET KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE SONGS OF ENEMIES AND DESERTS: LIVING WITH THE SUDAN LIBERATION ARMY LAWRENCE WESCHLER'S EVERYTHING THAT RISES: A BOOK OF CONVERGENCES THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST ABOUT WHAT IS THE WHAT ABOUT BOWL OF CHERRIES ABOUT COMEDY BY THE NUMBERS ABOUT JOHN BRANDON'S ARKANSAS ABOUT MICHAEL CHABON'S MAPS AND LEGENDS ABOUT UNDERGROUND AMERICA ABOUT DEB OLIN UNFERTH'S VACATION LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY DISPATCHES FROM ADJUNCT FACULTY AT A LARGE STATE UNIVERSITY ADVICE FROM A PERSON WITH A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY DISPATCHES FROM THE NBA ENTERTAINMENT LEAGUE JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES B.R. COHEN'S ANNALS OF SCIENCE INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY DISPATCHES FROM ROY KESEY, AN AMERICAN GUY MARRIED TO A PERUVIAN DIPLOMAT LIVING IN CHINA DAN KENNEDY SOLVES YOUR PROBLEMS WITH PAPER STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT - - - - ADDITIONAL MATERIAL