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Just in time for Valentine's Day,
the Guardian in London has
reviewed and raved about
The Secret Language of Sleep.
And, for the rest of the week,
you can buy it for $5!

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Favorite Gerund
Movie Titles,
Un-gerunded.

BY IAN CAREY

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Rita, Educated

Forrester Found

I Served Sara

Raoul Was Eaten

The Stone Is Romanced

We Have Raised Arizona

The Waves Are Broken

I Drove That Old Bitch Miss Daisy

Helena Is in a Box and We Made This Piece of Shit Movie About It

Harry Deconstructed

Mona Is in the Process of Being Drowned

We Left Las Vegas, After Getting Totally Wasted

Home Stolen

Kill Zoe (Vol. 1)

Henry Was Regarded

Ryan Saved Privately

Isaiah Is or Has Been Lost

John Malkovich Has Been Been

The Cube, Gleamed

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OTHER McSWEENEY'S FEATURES:

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Favorite Gerund Movie Titles, Un-gerunded By Ian Carey
Ike Turner's Guide to Restoring America's Honor By Ken McIntyre
Still More Entries From The Future Dictionary of America
Are You Another Vietnam? By Don Steinberg
How to Know Whether the Voice Around You, Promising Unspeakable Pain, Is Reciting 50 Cent Lyrics or Truly Threatening Your Life By Tony Antoniadis

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Memories of Amanda Davis




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BITCHSLAP: A COLUMN ABOUT WOMEN AND FIGHTING

DISPATCHES FROM A GUY TRYING UNSUCCESSFULLY
TO SELL A SONG IN NASHVILLE


GLOBAL WAR ON BEDBUGS: LETTERS FROM BEDBUG CITY

THE CONFLICTED EXISTENCE OF A FEMALE PORN WRITER

OH MY GAWD: A COLUMN ABOUT A TEENAGER NAVIGATING RELIGION

DISPATCHES FROM MANILA

DISPATCHES FROM AN INDIAN CASINO

THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST

CHRIS WHITE ANSWERS PROFOUND
QUESTIONS ABOUT THE PRESIDENTS


REPORTS FROM THE PINBALL SCENE

LETTERS FROM THE HELLBOX

NOTES FROM AN AMATEUR SPECTATOR
AT AMATEUR MIXED MARTIAL ARTS FIGHTS


B.R. COHEN'S DAYS AT THE MUSEUM

CONVERSATIONS AT A WARTIME CAFÉ

GRANT MUNROE'S CORPORATE FOLKTALES

SARAH WALKER SHOWS YOU HOW

DISPATCHES FROM AN ENVIRONMENTAL LAWYER
WHO IS TRYING TO GROW A MUSTACHE


DISPATCHES FROM A HANGDOG BANKRUPT

DISPATCHES FROM THE CAPITAL

DISPATCHES FROM INDIA

THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL

SEAN MICHAELS LISTENS TO MUSIC IN MONTREAL

SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES

STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE

YOUR MONEY, YOUR JOB ... YOUR LIFE, WITH ALISON ROSEN

KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE

LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL
TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY


E-MAILS SENT TO THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA ENGLISH DEPARTMENT
FLAG-FOOTBALL TEAM


TRAVELING EUROPE IN STYLE WITH AUCKLAND DINGIROO,
DARK-AGE TOURIST AND CRITIC OF FOOD AND DRINK


JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES

INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS

FLIP: A COLUMN ABOUT SKATEBOARDING

OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND

BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELBRITY MUSICALS

DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN

EXCERPTS FROM THE PANORAMA

SOLUTIONS TO BENJAMIN TAUSIG'S
THREE-DEMENSIONAL CROSSWORD PUZZLE
IN THE SAN FRANCISCO PANORAMA


ABOUT A VERY BAD WIZARD

ABOUT THE WILD THINGS

ABOUT THE CONVALESCENT

ABOUT FEVER CHART

ABOUT GOD SAYS NO

ABOUT ZEITOUN

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