Are You Another Vietnam?
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Take Our
Best-Ever Summer Quiz
and Find Out!
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1. Some so-called friends have started calling you "a war we can neither win, lose, nor drop":
a) Not that I've heard.
b) People supposedly said that, but not to my face.
c) Constantly—it's so true!
2. Your increasing, unanticipated guerrilla resistance is freaking people out:
a) That is basically bogus.
b) Let's just say it keeps people on their toes.
c) Guilty! It's my worst trait.
3. A local man is walking down the road wearing classic khakis and a white cotton shirt. He:
a) Is a grateful citizen who wants to help jump-start his country's new government.
b) Launches an armed attack. What was that about?
c) Could be a great guy—or a bad guy. That's what's so confusing!
4. You are so intense that people are "losing it" and doing terrible things they'd never do at home:
a) It's only "a few bad apples."
b) There's some socially unacceptable behavior, but it's not what it looks like.
c) It's completely gross!
5. People say you are taking longer than expected:
a) Hardly!
b) With me, people must learn to expect the unexpected.
c) I'll stick around for the long haul. That's what commitment is all about.
6. There are doubts and second thoughts about the reason for the engagement:
a) Just the normal "cold feet."
b) Sure, but nothing serious enough to alter the plans.
c) This should be so over already.
7. A group of Americans gathered at the mall is discontented because:
a) The new Abercrombie catalog is lame.
b) Several are wearing the exact same vintage blouse.
c) They don't want to die.
8. American soldiers are marrying your native women, just like in Vietnam:
a) Never. That's a strict no-go zone.
b) There's definitely been some flirting.
c) Hello! It's like The Bachelor!
Scoring
For each question you answered (a), give yourself 1 point. For each (b), 2 points. For each (c), 3 points.
The Verdict
0-10 points: Phew! You aren't even another Canada!
11-16 points: You may be like Vietnam, but mostly just the food.
17-24 points: Hey, is that Vietnam staring back at you in the mirror?
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OTHER McSWEENEY'S FEATURES:
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Are You Another Vietnam? By Don Steinberg
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