The Future Dictionary of America
Contest Winners.
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We'd like to thank everyone who took up our challenge and entered our Future Dictionary of America contest, and to congratulate the winners, who are featured today.
To order The Future Dictionary of America,
click here.
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sherbay [share-bay] n. a partly creamy, partly light and delicate blend of the once lower-class sherbert and the once upper-class sorbet. Once the large gap between the classes began to narrow, vendors introduced sherbay, and found that it appealed to members of all previous economic classes while remaining gastronomically and culturally homogeneous.
—Brent Turner
local warming [lo-kul wor-ming] n. the act of consciously humanizing someone with whom you disagree, i.e. by finding common ground, asking their children's names, making cookies for them, etc. Antonym: polarization.
—Sunny Stalter
Generator [jen-ur-8-ur] n. the publicly-held chain of fitness centers whose equipment is ingeniously designed to efficiently capture calories of energy, which are then sold by the Generator to the DWUC (Decentralized World Utility Commons) for use by subscribers. Fitness center members keep track of their caloric output with a credit card, inserted at each workstation. The card has the additional benefit of tracking your workout progress, and provides feedback on your fitness goals. Members can "cash out" anytime they need to, or they can donate their credit to an organization of their choosing. Finally, get paid to work out! And reduce dependence on fossil fuels! "Sorry, Landlord / Insurance Guy / Bill Collector. You caught me a little short this month. But I'm just on the way to the Generator for a workout. Can you wait an hour?"
—Stephen Bushman
secufast [sek'-yoo-fast] n. an alternative to the National Prayer Breakfast, where our nation's secular humanist leaders gather at the White House for bagels and low-fat cream cheese.
—Claire Harlan-Orsi
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OTHER McSWEENEY'S FEATURES:
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The Future Dictionary of America Contest Winners
Summer Vacation at Burning Man By G. Xavier Robillard
This Bible You Sold Me Is Clearly Defective and I'd Like to Return It, Please By Matthew Simmons
What Color Is Your Sippy Cup? By J. Daniel Janzen
The Von Trapp Children Speak to a Geneticist By David Ng
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