Please welcome Amy Jean Porter's horse T-shirt. For the next few days, the shirt is 20 percent off. - - - -

Today, Some Lists. - - - - THINGS I'D PROBABLY SAY IF THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION WERE JUST A WEEKLY TV SHOW AND I WERE A REGULAR VIEWER. By Eric Maierson "Now, see, you can't just go and do something like that. That would be illegal." "Boy, someone's gonna get fired for that." "Wasn't that the one who made all the mistakes? Why is she getting promoted?" "Come on, in real life you'd never get away with something like that." "They really expect us to believe that?" "Am I the only one confused here?" "Does this make any sense to you?" "Why is this still on?" - - - - DISCARDED TITLES FOR GEORGE ORWELL'S 1984. By Jez Burrows O Brother, Where Art Thou? Oh Right, Everywhere SurveillanceTown! How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Faceless Omnipotent Oppressors What the Fuck Are You Staring At? Guys, Seriously, Can I Just Get a Little Me-Time Here? Hate: The Musical! Two Guys, a Girl, and a Chilling Dystopian Landscape - - - - FAMOUS NAMES REWRITTEN IN A WORLD GREATLY INFLUENCED BY THE MAIN CHARACTER OF A 1982 DISNEY MOVIE. By Josh Kramer Tron Kerry Tron the Baptist Tron Lennon Little Tron Tron Coltrane Jasper Trons Sean Tron Papa Tron Long Tron Silver Sir Elton Tron Capt. Tron Smith Pope Tron Paul II Olivia Newton-Tron - - - - OTHER McSWEENEY'S FEATURES: - - - - Today, Some Lists Ladies and Gentlemen, This Is Your Captain Speaking By Jason Lathrop Making Reruns of Television Sitcoms More Exciting by Adding a Weapon By Dan Kennedy The Five People You Meet in Hell By Litsa Dremousis In Regard to Surviving in a World With James Caan By D.J. Kirkbride

- - - - MAIN PAGE   |   ARCHIVES   Memories of Amanda Davis   Red dot denotes content that is new today. Black dot denotes newish content. McSWEENEY'S STORE SUBSCRIBE TO: McSWEENEY'S THE BELIEVER WHOLPHIN FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: FOR BOOKS FOR THE QUARTERLY FOR THE WEBSITE FOR WHOLPHIN McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS CONTACT US - - - - LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S LISTS McSWEENEY'S PREDICTS McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS NEW WHOLPHIN FILM DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST JOKES BY BRIAN BEATTY REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD DISPATCHES FROM MOSCOW SO YOU WANT TO BE PRESIDENT? DISPATCHES FROM THE ANACOSTIA THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELEBRITY MUSICALS DISPATCHES FROM A HUMANITARIAN JOURNALIST DEB OLIN UNFERTH'S SICK OF THE REVOLUTION DISPATCHES FROM IRAQ SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES PHILIP GRAHAM SPENDS A YEAR IN LISBON STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE DISPATCHES FROM THE NAPOLEONIC WARS AT THE MET KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE SONGS OF ENEMIES AND DESERTS: LIVING WITH THE SUDAN LIBERATION ARMY LAWRENCE WESCHLER'S EVERYTHING THAT RISES: A BOOK OF CONVERGENCES THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST ABOUT WHAT IS THE WHAT ABOUT BOWL OF CHERRIES ABOUT COMEDY BY THE NUMBERS ABOUT JOHN BRANDON'S ARKANSAS ABOUT MICHAEL CHABON'S MAPS AND LEGENDS ABOUT UNDERGROUND AMERICA LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY DISPATCHES FROM ADJUNCT FACULTY AT A LARGE STATE UNIVERSITY ADVICE FROM A PERSON WITH A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY DISPATCHES FROM THE NBA ENTERTAINMENT LEAGUE JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES B.R. COHEN'S ANNALS OF SCIENCE INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY DISPATCHES FROM ROY KESEY, AN AMERICAN GUY MARRIED TO A PERUVIAN DIPLOMAT LIVING IN CHINA STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT - - - - ADDITIONAL MATERIAL