IN-PROGRESS IDEAS
FOR NEW YORKER
CARTOONS.
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1.
Twelve men sit around a conference-room table. All but one are older, distinguished, wearing suits and large cowboy hats. At the end of the table, the leader is presenting a cowboy hat to a younger, unhatted man.
"Wilson, we've decided to make you a pardner."
Or maybe "We'll just call you 'pardner.'" Or even "Put it there, pardner." I don't know. Something to do with businessmen or lawyers and the word "pardner."
2.
Two guys are sitting on a desert island with their backs against a single palm tree.
"I miss blogging."
Or, no, wait, maybe one of them is standing near the water with a bottle at his feet, reading a letter. "It's from the former treasurer of Nigeria." You know, making fun of those fraud e-mails. But on paper. Or maybe something else involving the Internet, which you don't get on desert islands. "It's a good deal on vi_jgra" or "I wonder what Google is doing."
3.
Four stylish women in a cluster at a cocktail party, all but one eyeing a handsome man in conversation nearby.
"Well, I'm just not that into him, either."
Or some other recent culture reference. Or something involving wine, or Europe.
4.
A small, timid man faces his large, sinister-looking boss across an enormous desk.
"Jenkins, I've decided to kill you and eat you for lunch. Just kidding. What do you want?"
Maybe too dark?
5.
A doctor is talking to a man in an exam room.
They have these every time. Something about the medical bill, or insurance. Or maybe the patient could have duck feet or antennae and there's a joke about that. "Yes, Mr. Martin, that is an odd side effect." That's good. Should be simple.
6.
Two guys hanging on the wall in a dungeon talking to a guard with a whip, who says something funny.
Or, what's the other one—in the desert? Yeah, two guys crawling in the hot sand, desperate for water, their clothes shredded, sun beating down, vultures circling overhead. But funny.
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OTHER McSWEENEY'S FEATURES:
- - - -
In-Progress Ideas for New Yorker Cartoons By Scott Underwood
Taking My Personal Demons Out to Lunch at the Olive Garden By Andy Braaksma
Traveling Europe in Style With Auckland Dingiroo, Dark-Age Tourist and Critic of Food and Drink By John Hallmann
A Grinning, Leering Skull!
Wilford Brimley Asks for Splenda By Jeff Barnosky
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