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Now available for preorder:
The San Francisco Panorama
.

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ISSUE 18
APPROACHES,
PRECEDED BY AN
URGENT WARNING.

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As we speak, Issue 17, our youngest child, is still warm and gurgling in your hands—but nevertheless Issue 18 has arrived already. We're not totally sure how they ended up so close together, but we're not complaining. It's our miracle baby. We are giving you more to love and you are finding more love to give.

Issue 18 isn't 43 separate pieces, or printed on burning leaves, or written entirely by residents of Crozet, Virginia. It's just a return to our core values—good stories in a good-looking book. Edmund White's half-century of hustlers, Joyce Carol Oates's paternal murderer, and Roddy Doyle's Rwandan transfer student are all in there, along with bears, clouds, successful and unsuccessful assassinations, and a railway nurse. We wanted this collection to be strong and direct, if not straightforward, to get us back to basics for a bit, and it is, and it does.

But we can never leave well enough alone, and so there's also a separate DVD as part of the package, with films by Spike Jonze, David O. Russell, Miranda July, Miguel Arteta, and the National Clean Up, Paint Up, Fix Up Bureau. It's the first issue of Wholphin, our new DVD quarterly, and we're bundling it in here (and in the new Believer) in order to say thanks and give you an exclusive early look. Please let us know what you think.

Altogether, Issue 18 offers a lot. And, if you subscribe, we're offering even more: The Better of McSweeney's, which collects some of the best stories from our first 10 issues, the ones you can't find anywhere anymore. We'll ship this liver-covered book to you as soon as we receive your renewal. That means if you act fast you'll have at least three hot, hot things within the next few weeks, even before Christ is born—our newest journal, our debut DVD quarterly, and our old classics. It's an almost grandmotherly amount of stuff at stake. Let us overwhelm you!

But! If you'd like to subscribe, or you're a subscriber who's moved or is renewing, you need to act fast—definitely no later than Thursday, because by that night it'll be too late to send in subscriptions or address changes and still receive Issue 18. That is not very much time. We hope, though, that it is just enough time for you guys, with your whiplike reflexes.

This is the urgent part: if you're renewing, or subscribing, or changing your address, you've gotta do it by Thursday. Let's say 60 hours from now. Let us know if you have any questions about anything.

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OTHER McSWEENEY'S FEATURES:

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Issue 18 Approaches, Preceded by an Urgent Warning
How to Look and Act When Participating in Adventure Sports By Robert Koenig
Lobster Boy's Fifth-Grade Report Card By Greg Ruehlmann
Do You Have an Aztec Problem? What Every Homeowner Should Know By Eric Silver
I Don't Know What the Big Deal About Having a Baby Is By Wendy Molyneux

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Memories of Amanda Davis




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LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S

LISTS

McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS

REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD

NEW WHOLPHIN FILM

DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST

TEDDY WAYNE'S UNPOPULAR PROVERBS

NON-ESSENTIAL MNEMONICS

BITCHSLAP: A COLUMN ABOUT WOMEN AND FIGHTING

DISPATCHES FROM A GUY TRYING UNSUCCESSFULLY
TO SELL A SONG IN NASHVILLE


GLOBAL WAR ON BEDBUGS: LETTERS FROM BEDBUG CITY

THE CONFLICTED EXISTENCE OF A FEMALE PORN WRITER

OH MY GAWD: A COLUMN ABOUT A TEENAGER NAVIGATING RELIGION

DISPATCHES FROM MANILA

DISPATCHES FROM AN INDIAN CASINO

THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST

CHRIS WHITE ANSWERS PROFOUND
QUESTIONS ABOUT THE PRESIDENTS


REPORTS FROM THE PINBALL SCENE

LETTERS FROM THE HELLBOX

NOTES FROM AN AMATEUR SPECTATOR
AT AMATEUR MIXED MARTIAL ARTS FIGHTS


B.R. COHEN'S DAYS AT THE MUSEUM

CONVERSATIONS AT A WARTIME CAFÉ

AND HERE'S THE KICKER:
MIKE SACKS'S CONVERSATIONS WITH HUMOR WRITERS


GRANT MUNROE'S CORPORATE FOLKTALES

SARAH WALKER SHOWS YOU HOW

DISPATCHES FROM AN ENVIRONMENTAL LAWYER
WHO IS TRYING TO GROW A MUSTACHE


DISPATCHES FROM A HANGDOG BANKRUPT

DISPATCHES FROM THE CAPITAL

DISPATCHES FROM INDIA

THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL

SEAN MICHAELS LISTENS TO MUSIC IN MONTREAL

SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES

KIDS' LETTERS TO PRESIDENT OBAMA

STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE

YOUR MONEY, YOUR JOB ... YOUR LIFE, WITH ALISON ROSEN

KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE

ABOUT THE WILD THINGS

ABOUT THE CONVALESCENT

ABOUT FEVER CHART

ABOUT GOD SAYS NO

ABOUT ZEITOUN

LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL
TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY


E-MAILS SENT TO THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA ENGLISH DEPARTMENT
FLAG-FOOTBALL TEAM


TRAVELING EUROPE IN STYLE WITH AUCKLAND DINGIROO,
DARK-AGE TOURIST AND CRITIC OF FOOD AND DRINK


JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES

INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS

FLIP: A COLUMN ABOUT SKATEBOARDING

OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND

DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN

MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY

DAN KENNEDY SOLVES YOUR PROBLEMS WITH PAPER

STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT

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ADDITIONAL MATERIAL