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Dave Eggers' The Wild Things is available for preorder, in regular hardcover and
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BRETT FAVRE
IS LIKE A KID
OUT THERE.

BY ADAM UNDERHILL

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PLAY-BY-PLAY ANNOUNCER: Second and four, Packers' 42-yard line. Favre lines up under center, Levens and Bennett the split backs. He takes the snap, three-step drop, and is sacked immediately by Spielman. Oh, my ... Favre seems to have wet himself. He has peed his pants, folks. He'll have to come off the field and change his pants. He should have gone before the game started. How embarrassing, just a sign of immaturity.

Packers ready to start their first drive here in the first quarter at Giants Stadium, from the 21. Brett Favre is—he is talking to Coach Sherman and, folks, it looks like he is refusing to go in. Favre is crossing his arms and shaking his head and stomping on the ground. Mike Sherman is livid, he's ordered Favre to take a time-out in the corner. Doug Pederson will have to take over for now, ladies and gentlemen. Brett Favre needs a nap.

Packers down 6 with a minute-four to go, at their own 35. Look at Brett Favre in the huddle, he is picking his nose and eating it. How many quarterbacks have you seen do that, Jim? He is so cool under pressure, he just loves to play. Like a kid.

Third and long, from the Rams' 40. Green is the deep back. Favre drops back, way back ... looking to pass. He is holding the ball above his head and—and Green takes the ball and runs around the left side! Twelve-yard gain, first down. That was a Statue of Liberty play, folks! You're lucky if you see that run in Pee Wee football, let alone the NFL. But that's Brett Favre for you ... he's like a kid in a sandlot. So fun to watch.

Here we go, 54-yard field goal to win it in overtime. Favre is the holder. Here comes the snap, Longwell winds up, and ... Favre pulled the ball away! He pulled it back and Longwell missed and went flying and landed on his behind. Hahaha, just like Lucy and Charlie Brown. Favre is laughing ... he is such a prankster. The guy never takes things too seriously, he just plays for the love of the game. Hahaha ... 49ers will get possession.

All right, a minute to go, a field goal ties it. Packers driving in Lions territory, second and 10 on the Detroit 30. Looking to gain a few more yards here to give Longwell an easier kick, or an easy touchdown if it's there. Favre takes the snap, throws over the middle ... intercepted! Dré Bly runs it back to the 45. Favre's fourth pick of the day, and that seals it, folks. Green Bay will go on to lose this one. That was a poor decision by Favre, plain and simple. Something a rookie might do, not a Hall of Famer. I wish I could think of a proper simile, but I'm at a loss.

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OTHER McSWEENEY'S FEATURES:

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