Timothy McSweeney's Header Image

For the rest of the day, you can get any available issue of McSweeney's Quarterly Concern for $5. Yep. Just $5. This deal is only good through Friday (today), so stock up before the long holiday weekend.

- - - -

BRETT FAVRE
IS LIKE A KID
OUT THERE.

BY ADAM UNDERHILL

- - - -

PLAY-BY-PLAY ANNOUNCER: Second and four, Packers' 42-yard line. Favre lines up under center, Levens and Bennett the split backs. He takes the snap, three-step drop, and is sacked immediately by Spielman. Oh, my ... Favre seems to have wet himself. He has peed his pants, folks. He'll have to come off the field and change his pants. He should have gone before the game started. How embarrassing, just a sign of immaturity.

Packers ready to start their first drive here in the first quarter at Giants Stadium, from the 21. Brett Favre is—he is talking to Coach Sherman and, folks, it looks like he is refusing to go in. Favre is crossing his arms and shaking his head and stomping on the ground. Mike Sherman is livid, he's ordered Favre to take a time-out in the corner. Doug Pederson will have to take over for now, ladies and gentlemen. Brett Favre needs a nap.

Packers down 6 with a minute-four to go, at their own 35. Look at Brett Favre in the huddle, he is picking his nose and eating it. How many quarterbacks have you seen do that, Jim? He is so cool under pressure, he just loves to play. Like a kid.

Third and long, from the Rams' 40. Green is the deep back. Favre drops back, way back ... looking to pass. He is holding the ball above his head and—and Green takes the ball and runs around the left side! Twelve-yard gain, first down. That was a Statue of Liberty play, folks! You're lucky if you see that run in Pee Wee football, let alone the NFL. But that's Brett Favre for you ... he's like a kid in a sandlot. So fun to watch.

Here we go, 54-yard field goal to win it in overtime. Favre is the holder. Here comes the snap, Longwell winds up, and ... Favre pulled the ball away! He pulled it back and Longwell missed and went flying and landed on his behind. Hahaha, just like Lucy and Charlie Brown. Favre is laughing ... he is such a prankster. The guy never takes things too seriously, he just plays for the love of the game. Hahaha ... 49ers will get possession.

All right, a minute to go, a field goal ties it. Packers driving in Lions territory, second and 10 on the Detroit 30. Looking to gain a few more yards here to give Longwell an easier kick, or an easy touchdown if it's there. Favre takes the snap, throws over the middle ... intercepted! Dré Bly runs it back to the 45. Favre's fourth pick of the day, and that seals it, folks. Green Bay will go on to lose this one. That was a poor decision by Favre, plain and simple. Something a rookie might do, not a Hall of Famer. I wish I could think of a proper simile, but I'm at a loss.

- - - -

OTHER McSWEENEY'S FEATURES:

- - - -

Brett Favre Is Like a Kid Out There By Adam Underhill
My Father the Lawyer By Chris Van Orden
The Terror Alert Levels: A Brown Person's Guide By RT Sehgal
I'm Starting to Suspect That a Dungeons and Dragons Player Named "Elgdorf the Mage" Is Abusing His Wikipedia Editorial Privileges By Teddy Wayne
I Cannot Possibly Buy Girl Scout Cookies From Your Daughter at This Time By Charlie Nadler

- - - -

MAIN PAGE   |   ARCHIVES

 

Memories of Amanda Davis

 


Red dot denotes content that is new today.

Black dot denotes newish content.

McSWEENEY'S STORE

SUBSCRIBE TO:
McSWEENEY'S
THE BELIEVER
WHOLPHIN

FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS

THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD

INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE

McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST

McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES

ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES

SUBMISSION GUIDELINES:
FOR BOOKS
FOR THE QUARTERLY
FOR THE WEBSITE
FOR WHOLPHIN

McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS

CONTACT US

- - - -

LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S

LISTS

McSWEENEY'S PREDICTS

McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS

NEW WHOLPHIN FILM

DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST

JOKES BY BRIAN BEATTY

REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD

DISPATCHES FROM MOSCOW

SO YOU WANT TO BE PRESIDENT?

DISPATCHES FROM THE ANACOSTIA

THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL

BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELEBRITY MUSICALS

DISPATCHES FROM A HUMANITARIAN JOURNALIST

DEB OLIN UNFERTH'S SICK OF THE REVOLUTION

DISPATCHES FROM IRAQ

SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES

PHILIP GRAHAM SPENDS A YEAR IN LISBON

STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE

DISPATCHES FROM THE NAPOLEONIC WARS AT THE MET

KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE

SONGS OF ENEMIES AND DESERTS: LIVING WITH THE SUDAN LIBERATION ARMY

LAWRENCE WESCHLER'S EVERYTHING THAT RISES: A BOOK OF CONVERGENCES

THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST

ABOUT WHAT IS THE WHAT

ABOUT BOWL OF CHERRIES

ABOUT COMEDY BY THE NUMBERS

ABOUT JOHN BRANDON'S ARKANSAS

ABOUT MICHAEL CHABON'S MAPS AND LEGENDS

ABOUT UNDERGROUND AMERICA

LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY

DISPATCHES FROM ADJUNCT FACULTY AT A LARGE STATE UNIVERSITY

ADVICE FROM A PERSON WITH A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY

DISPATCHES FROM THE NBA ENTERTAINMENT LEAGUE

JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES

B.R. COHEN'S ANNALS OF SCIENCE

INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS

OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND

DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN

MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY

DISPATCHES FROM ROY KESEY, AN AMERICAN GUY MARRIED TO
A PERUVIAN DIPLOMAT LIVING IN CHINA


STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT

- - - -

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL