Timothy McSweeney's Header Image

In eight illustrated books, elegantly held together in a single beribboned case, McSweeney's Issue 28 explores the state of the fable. For the next two days, it's $5 off.

- - - -

CATE BLANCHETT
UPGRADES HER
CABLE SERVICE.

BY EMILY TALBOTT

- - - -

Hi. I'd like to see about maybe changing my cable service? I'm not in my 20s anymore and I'm not blown away by the local channels; in fact, I wince when I think about myself watching only local channels. I think, Shut up! I'm definitely not interested in being in my comfort zone as a viewer—you've got to take risks! On the other hand, I'm not sure I'm ready for satellite yet. I've got children now, an experience that utterly changed me—no, maybe expanded is the better word—and I don't have time for BBC America or ESPNEWS.

I do need A&E, the kind of network where they show, like, the Butoh dancers. I would love to have been a Butoh dancer. It's a form of dance that was born out of the holocaust in Japan where the tortured insides of the human spirit express themselves in the external. I find it absolutely hypnotic.

Also, the movie channels—I've worked with so many brilliant directors. Their films—how can I express this?—we feel like we understand but then we're distanced from them at the same time. It's quite Brechtian.

Soderbergh, for example. He lets me throw it all out there, then pull it back again and only use what I need. I completely love and trust his process. I listen to him, because he speaks with enormous weight and gravitas. But he can be silly and just kick back and wear funny hats!

I'm drifting toward Classic Cable—do you still have the Home Shopping Network? It's a terrible weakness—oh, my God—shopping! A few years ago, I bought some ... you know that shop Lily et Cie? It's in Beverly Hills near the Four Seasons. Secondhand. Fantastic. I couldn't believe what I was spending on a jacket; I agonized. But I bought this beautiful ... snake, snakeskin, might be python ... vintage Gucci jacket.

And I like bowls. There's a fantastic kitchen shop near the King's Cross Underground in London—Summerill & Bishop. Brilliant bowls.

Does the Classic package include National Geographic? I mean, the world is so much larger than what happens in my own small world.

OK, let's do it. $39.99? I need to get this behind me. No offense, but I want to get back to living my small, quiet, elusive life.

It's all about the process.

- - - -

OTHER McSWEENEY'S FEATURES:

- - - -

Cate Blanchett Upgrades Her Cable Service By Emily Talbott
Voices From the Storm: Part 2
Responses to Recurrent Critiques of My Toothbrush-of-the-Month Club Idea By Jay Wexler
La Maison du Nord Bachelorette Party Prix Fixe Menu By Todd Levin
Rejected America's Funniest Home Videos Submissions, as Logged by Junior Production Assistant Intern Kenneth Polk By Andrew Kiraly

- - - -

MAIN PAGE   |   ARCHIVES

 

Memories of Amanda Davis

 


Red dot denotes content that is new today.

Black dot denotes newish content.

McSWEENEY'S STORE

SUBSCRIBE TO:
McSWEENEY'S
THE BELIEVER
WHOLPHIN

FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS

THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD

INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE

McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST

McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES

ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES

SUBMISSION GUIDELINES:
FOR BOOKS
FOR THE QUARTERLY
FOR THE WEBSITE
FOR WHOLPHIN

McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS

CONTACT US

- - - -

LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S

LISTS

McSWEENEY'S PREDICTS

McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS

NEW WHOLPHIN FILM

DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST

JOKES BY BRIAN BEATTY

REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD

DISPATCHES FROM MOSCOW

SO YOU WANT TO BE PRESIDENT?

DISPATCHES FROM THE ANACOSTIA

THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL

BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELEBRITY MUSICALS

DISPATCHES FROM A HUMANITARIAN JOURNALIST

DEB OLIN UNFERTH'S SICK OF THE REVOLUTION

DISPATCHES FROM IRAQ

SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES

PHILIP GRAHAM SPENDS A YEAR IN LISBON

STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE

DISPATCHES FROM THE NAPOLEONIC WARS AT THE MET

KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE

SONGS OF ENEMIES AND DESERTS: LIVING WITH THE SUDAN LIBERATION ARMY

LAWRENCE WESCHLER'S EVERYTHING THAT RISES: A BOOK OF CONVERGENCES

THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST

ABOUT WHAT IS THE WHAT

ABOUT BOWL OF CHERRIES

ABOUT COMEDY BY THE NUMBERS

ABOUT JOHN BRANDON'S ARKANSAS

ABOUT MICHAEL CHABON'S MAPS AND LEGENDS

ABOUT UNDERGROUND AMERICA

LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY

DISPATCHES FROM ADJUNCT FACULTY AT A LARGE STATE UNIVERSITY

ADVICE FROM A PERSON WITH A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY

DISPATCHES FROM THE NBA ENTERTAINMENT LEAGUE

JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES

B.R. COHEN'S ANNALS OF SCIENCE

INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS

OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND

DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN

MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY

DISPATCHES FROM ROY KESEY, AN AMERICAN GUY MARRIED TO
A PERUVIAN DIPLOMAT LIVING IN CHINA


STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT

- - - -

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL