Through this Friday, all available back issues of Wholphin are half off—10 bucks apiece for countless warm evenings of rare films, featuring Miranda July, Paul Rudd, Donald Trump, and a monkey-faced eel. - - - -

F R O M   T H E   A R C H I V E S CONVERSATIONS I'VE HAD DURING A NORMAL DAY IN LOS ANGELES, MODIFIED TO INCLUDE THE SHOCKING DEPICTION OF RACISM FOUND IN PAUL HAGGIS'S 2005 FILM CRASH. BY BRENDON LLOYD - - - - ME: Are we working tonight? CO-WORKER: Yeah. ME: This sucks. CO-WORKER: I can't freakin' stand those Indians. ME: I'm part Cherokee. CO-WORKER: Then why don't you go smoke a peace pipe and get the hell out of my country? - - - - FRIEND: How was work? ME: Not bad. The usual stuff. Yourself? FRIEND: I sure hate those Mexicans. - - - - WAITER: Can I take your order? ME: I'll have the club sandwich, easy on the mayo. WAITER: To drink? ME: Why are you people always asking me what I want to drink? WAITER: What? ME: You heard me. - - - - OTHER McSWEENEY'S FEATURES: - - - - Conversations I've Had During a Normal Day in Los Angeles, Modified to Include the Shocking Depiction of Racism Found in Paul Haggis's 2005 Film Crash By Brendon Lloyd Fragments From Steroids! The Musical By Ben Greenman A Serial Killer Explains the Distinctions Between Literary Terms By Charlie Anders Public Service Announcement Revised By Dan Kennedy Working the Kidneys By Jim Stallard

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