Timothy McSweeney's Header Image

THE BRUCKHEIMER
QUATRAINS.

BY ROBERT HORNAK

- - - -

(Note: Spoiler alert.)

- - - -

48
[Wherein Bruckheimer foresees
"a Boulder" or "a Rock."
]

When they will be caged the military ones will fail,

Who hide the innocent ones on the island of bars,

And turn the green poison from the gaming arena.

The old spy will spend his quiver of quips.


71
[Wherein Bruckheimer predicts
"the final Armageddon."
]

At the dangerous passage from memorial to labor,

The drilling one will have his band launch:

To fill with the sun's fire the falling stone beast,

So will he trade a life for an arrowmist, or approwsmith, hit.


129
[Wherein Bruckheimer foretells
of "Chain-linked Cages."
]

Two thin powers will form a deadly league—

A great bird will fall, spilling its cargo of ill-reputes;

Thunderous carriages will be thieved in spans of one minute;

A hunter of lore will declare his independence on a Journey toward treasure.

- - - -

OTHER McSWEENEY'S FEATURES:

- - - -

The Bruckheimer Quatrains By Robert Hornak
Truly Groundbreaking Ideas in Direct Mail By Dan Kennedy
Rejected Spots for the Army's Current Ad Campaign, "Strength for Now, Strength for Later" By the Bros. Farhang
Reinventing the Mojito By Kate Hahn
Critter Corner With Lincoln Michel, Former Veterinary Assistant By Lincoln Michel

- - - -

MAIN PAGE   |   ARCHIVES

 

Memories of Amanda Davis

 


Red dot denotes content that is new today.

Black dot denotes newish content.

McSWEENEY'S STORE

SUBSCRIBE TO:
McSWEENEY'S
THE BELIEVER
WHOLPHIN

FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS

THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD

INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE

McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST

McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES

ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES

SUBMISSION GUIDELINES:
FOR BOOKS
FOR THE QUARTERLY
FOR THE WEBSITE
FOR WHOLPHIN

McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS

CONTACT US

- - - -

LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S

LISTS

McSWEENEY'S PREDICTS

McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS

NEW WHOLPHIN FILM

DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST

JOKES BY BRIAN BEATTY

REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD

DISPATCHES FROM MOSCOW

SO YOU WANT TO BE PRESIDENT?

DISPATCHES FROM THE ANACOSTIA

THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL

BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELEBRITY MUSICALS

DISPATCHES FROM A HUMANITARIAN JOURNALIST

DISPATCHES FROM IRAQ

SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES

PHILIP GRAHAM SPENDS A YEAR IN LISBON

STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE

DISPATCHES FROM THE NAPOLEONIC WARS AT THE MET

KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE

SONGS OF ENEMIES AND DESERTS: LIVING WITH THE SUDAN LIBERATION ARMY

LAWRENCE WESCHLER'S EVERYTHING THAT RISES: A BOOK OF CONVERGENCES

THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST

ABOUT WHAT IS THE WHAT

ABOUT BOWL OF CHERRIES

ABOUT COMEDY BY THE NUMBERS

ABOUT JOHN BRANDON'S ARKANSAS

LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY

DISPATCHES FROM ADJUNCT FACULTY AT A LARGE STATE UNIVERSITY

ADVICE FROM A PERSON WITH A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY

DISPATCHES FROM THE NBA ENTERTAINMENT LEAGUE

JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES

B.R. COHEN'S ANNALS OF SCIENCE

INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS

OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND

DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN

MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY

DISPATCHES FROM ROY KESEY, AN AMERICAN GUY MARRIED TO
A PERUVIAN DIPLOMAT LIVING IN CHINA


STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT

- - - -

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL