THIRTEEN
WRITING PROMPTS.
BY DAN WIENCEK
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1.
Write a scene showing a man and a woman arguing over the man's friendship with a former girlfriend. Do not mention the girlfriend, the man, the woman, or the argument.
2.
Write a short scene set at a lake, with trees and shit. Throw some birds in there, too.
3.
Choose your favorite historical figure and imagine if he/she had been led to greatness by the promptings of an invisible imp living behind his or her right ear. Write a story from the point of view of this creature. Where did it come from? What are its goals? Use research to make your story as accurate as possible.
4.
Write a story that ends with the following sentence: Debra brushed the sand from her blouse, took a last, wistful look at the now putrefying horse, and stepped into the hot-air balloon.
5.
A wasp called the tarantula hawk reproduces by paralyzing tarantulas and laying its eggs into their bodies. When the larvae hatch, they devour the still living spider from the inside out. Isn't that fucked up? Write a short story about how fucked up that is.
6.
Imagine if your favorite character from 19th-century fiction had been born without thumbs. Then write a short story about them winning the lottery.
7.
Write a story that begins with a man throwing handfuls of $100 bills from a speeding car, and ends with a young girl urinating into a tin bucket.
8.
A husband and wife are meeting in a restaurant to finalize the terms of their impending divorce. Write the scene from the point of view of a busboy snorting cocaine in the restroom.
9.
Think of the most important secret your best friend has ever entrusted you with. Write a story in which you reveal it to everyone. Write it again from the point of view of your friend. Does she want to kill you? How does she imagine doing it? Would she use a gun, or something crueler and more savage, like a baseball bat with nails in it?
10.
Popular music is often a good source of writing inspiration. Rewrite Bob Dylan's "Visions of Johanna" as a play.
11.
Write a short scene in which one character reduces another to uncontrollable sobs without touching him or speaking.
12.
Your main character finds a box of scorched human hair. Whose is it? How did it get there?
13.
A man has a terrifying dream in which he is being sawn in half. He wakes to find himself in the Indian Ocean, naked and clinging to a door; a hotel keycard is clenched in his teeth. Write what happens next.
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OTHER McSWEENEY'S FEATURES:
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Thirteen Writing Prompts By Dan Wiencek
The Bruckheimer Quatrains By Robert Hornak
Truly Groundbreaking Ideas in Direct Mail By Dan Kennedy
Rejected Spots for the Army's Current Ad Campaign, "Strength for Now, Strength for Later" By the Bros. Farhang
Reinventing the Mojito By Kate Hahn
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