CALENDAR OF
UPCOMING EVENTS
AND WORKSHOPS FOR
THE SEAN OGGIE
INSTITUTE.
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Sean Oggie is an ordinary person just like you, with special unrecognized talents (just like you). Actor, dancer, writer, game designer, architect, slide guitarist, and post-digital entrepreneur, Sean is a self-taught life coach and emotional visionary who, having experienced his share of hard knocks, discovered how to turn them into hardknockade. His seminars and techniques have earned him devoted followers around the country, and he is planning to expand into the corporate realm in 2009.
Here is our exciting calendar for spring 2008:
Sing the Song of You
LOS ANGELES, MARCH 1011
Music is fundamental to our well-being. Through heightened listening, toning, singing, and guided meditation, participants will access the life-enhancing powers of their own melodic nature and abilities. Sean Oggie will reunite with his high-school band, Meat Sauce Roar, adding his associate-in-training, Porf, on percussion. The intrinsic power of rhythm to heal (or, if not to heal, to give voice to some pretty righteous bile) will be demonstrated during the world-premiere performance of Sean's online alt-rock songspiel, Erica, Alas.
Limited to 12 participants. $250 a person, includes two meals. Sleeping bags not provided.
Parents and Children:
The Great Reversal
MARCH 22
It may be the most challenging dynamic facing our generation today. Children grow up to become adults, only to still be treated like children. Simply because of cash-flow issues. Sean Oggie will sit down with his father, Dr. Paul Oggie, and try to "unpack" old grievances, resolve misunderstandings, and borrow $1,500 to cover the shortfall of recent East Coast workshops. This is a teleconference event only, and will be available on exclusive webcam. A question-and-answer session via speakerphone will take place immediately afterward.
No space limitations. $60 a person, plus long-distance access.
What Men Want,
What Women Want
LOS ANGELES, APRIL 46
Men want trust, fun, affection, different kinds of sex, and a little space. Sean looks forward to hearing from those women taking part in the workshop. Activities will include role-playing, touch therapy, nonviolent listening, and a full analysis of a hypothetical letter from a theoretically embittered ex-girlfriend. Porf will lead a drumming circle.
Limited to 18 participants, 9 per gender. $200 a person, snacks and wine included.
Missing But Blissing
LOS ANGELES, APRIL 1112
Disappointment is the balm that soothes the soul. Unfulfilled expectations carry equal parts pain and release. Sean Oggie and Porf will analyze the recent success of Colin Meloy, Joaquin Phoenix, Zack Snyder, and Lang Lang, maintaining that it could just as easily have happened to them. Or you. Attendees will participate in a reading of Sean's screenplay about vampires in an underground parking structure.
Limited to 10 participants. $200 a person.
Building Blocks
NORTH HOLLYWOOD, APRIL 2223
Manual labor is good for the heart, good for the soul. Many spiritual leaders have pointed this out, most recently the character of God in Evan Almighty. In this workshop, we will work around Dr. Oggie's house, examining and reshaping the arc of our lives while tearing out the old redwood deck and building a new one. This promises to be a magical weekend, steeped in human metaphor. The program will neatly divide into three sessions. DEMOLITION: What is it in ourselves and our past that we are ready to smash once and for all and leave to be hauled away? FRAMING: Where are we headed next? What are the blue-sky dreams we must give ourselves permission to lay out? REALITY CHECK: How far are we really going to get? Where does this obsession with the finish line originate? Why can't good enough be GreatEnough?
Limited to 5 participants. $125 a person. May include drinking games.
Sibling Rivalry: Myth or Math?
CARLSBAD, APRIL 2930
Sean Oggie's younger brother Jason makes a gazillion dollars selling real estate in San Diego. Should this make Sean feel humbled? Motivated? Envious? Why does society encourage us to compare ourselves with blood kin instead of, say, the losers in front of the Fosters Freeze? This retreat will coincide with Sean's annual visit to Carlsbad, and will be held in the spacious guest apartment over Jason and Sarah's three-car garage.
Limited to 6 participants. $300 a person, includes high-end snacks and some hot-tub access.
The Soul of Debt
LOS ANGELES, MAY 4
We are all tempted to spend beyond our means, and many of us do. We are then shamed and frequently fined for our actions. What is wrong with this picture? Sean Oggie will discuss fiscal missteps, consolidation techniques, and how to live for five months with nothing but a Texaco card. A chance to vent; advise; strategize; sample/purchase OggieCo high-quality eco-sensitive office supplies, children's toys, and hemp neckwear; and take advantage of a unique opportunity to become a member of a fast-growing, motivated SalESTEEM that works out of the home and can clear nearly $2,000 a week.
No space limitations. $80 per person. Complimentary samples and catalogs provided.
Recovering Lost Love
LOS ANGELES, MAY 10, 14, 17
Sean Oggie went out with Erica for 14 rocking months and thensmack!half-baked reasons and accusations and unanswered voicemail. This workshop will push past the stages of anger, denial, and binge-drinking, focusing on everyone's inner Love Dog. Utilizing Sean's award-winning Strength in Numbers LifeTackle, attendees will visualize innovative ways to right the ship, woo the maiden, grease Cupid's palm, and collaborate on a slam-dunk response to Erica's letter.
Limited to 14 people per session. $100 a session, or all three for $225.
Mediation on the Move:
An Exclusive Sean Oggie Experience!
JUNE 2021
An unprecedented opportunity to participate in an intimate, intensive, weekend-long traveling couples mediation. We will begin in Los Angeles at the crack of dawn and end the next day in Portland just in time for the Goregon Massacre Metal Festival open-mike session. Activities will include esteem games, gender mirroring, a Meat Sauce Roar CD retrospective, and the debut of several solo demos-in-progress. Workshop participants will share personal travel histories, take turns driving, and practice nonviolent music criticism.
Limited to 2 couples. $575 per couple, includes meals, gas, gum, hotel accommodations. Festival tickets extra. $80 discount to the couple providing the minivan.
And stay tuned
for these exciting
SUMMER WORKSHOPS:
"Narcissism: The New Compassion"
"The Last Laugh: Making Sure Everyone Hears"
"Can Your Inner Child Raise an Outer Child?"
"Intellectual Property: Location, Location, Location"
"Weekly loveblitz Podcasts
From the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf
Where Erica Works"
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OTHER McSWEENEY'S FEATURES:
- - - -
Calendar of Upcoming Events and Workshops for the Sean Oggie Institute By Michael Kaplan
A Letter From the U.S. Secretary of Education Regarding the Birth of Your First Child By Chandler Dean
This Cursed House By Daniel Schifrin
From the "Forum" Section of Welding Enthusiast Magazine By Danny Wind
About What Happened at the Carnival By Jim Stallard
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